1. Empty.
2. Unclear.
Although those two words could be taken very negatively, and I'm not saying this isn't a sad, difficult time for me right now, they also could be seen as a time where there's almost a feeling of clean slate. Like, I have no idea about so many things right now and while that is unsettling and frightening, on a good day, I can see it as full of choice, chance and opportunity.
My life feels empty right now. I feel quite lost without Max and that love and the plans we'd made, and I don't want to date or try to be in a relationship so there's this void where I'd like to have a partner to love and share with and be with and think about a future with. It's also that time of year when people do their thing and it's darker and colder and I just feel blah and there's more to it all than that but yeah. Empty and unclear. I have no idea where I'll be this time a year from now, never mind next season, or this summer or anything. I might be not far from where I am right now but it's unlikely I'll be right here. I don't know.
So, yeah. Stuff. Blah. Life.
4 comments:
I'm glad you can see the positive in this, as well as accepting the negatives. I've felt like this myself more than a few times, and ... well, "lost" is a good word for it.
But I'm confident you'll find a path that will lead to more light and warmth, just like the weather will change.
And I agree, it's unlikely you'll be "right here" in a year. This blog is a record of so much change, movement and distance, that I can't imagine you standing still in this place for very long. You are powerful and give every indication that "empty" and "unclear" are not places that will have a hold on you for very long.
Plus ... MORE SUN!
MORE SUN!!!! Indeed.
And thanks, as always, for your insight, thoughts and support.
I have much the same feelings, but for different reasons. It's still a weird feeling for us to be empty nesters with all the kids away at school.
And I feel completely lost professionally...which rightly or wrongly is a big part of me. Work has always taken up a considerable piece of my life and I'm feeling very lost right now. Not a fun feeling.
I'm glad you're able to see some positives in your situation. Just you recognizing that you will unlikely be where you are now is a huge change in mindset. This change is very evident from your posts over the past few months.
Where ever you may go, I wish you all the best and hope that 2016 sees you happy and healthy.
I can imagine the strangeness of empty nest and... well, I hear you on the work front. Hugs. All the best to you and yours as well!
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