Third Time Lucky

This is the third time I've returned to this page to start typing out this post.  I'm hoping that this time I get farther than the blank page and that I don't distract myself with something else on the internets and then come back to said blank page going "hmm... what was it I was planning on talking about anyway?"

End of January somehow.  Seems fast.  For me, anyway.  Likely because I've got a maybe idea on my mind that I've been looking into and talking about and it's been distracting me.  And stressing me, sure, but yeah.  And the days are starting to be longer!  I'm so loving that!  I noticed it the other day when it wasn't completely dark at 4:30.  Then the next day C-Dawg called and left a message saying the same thing.  "It's 5:05 pm and it's not totally dark!  YAY!"

Yay indeed.

I've also cut out sugar, candy and pop from my day to day for a little while here.  I wish I'd written down the day so I could say I haven't had X in Y amount of days but I don't know.  Started to watch a documentary about how much sugar is "hidden" in things and how many tablespoons the average Australian has per day (Australian documentary you see) and my brain just kind of went... dude.... you know you eat a crap ton of sugar because you eat sweets.  You pound down chocolate bars when you're feeling miserable and you love candy and... well... you also know it's not at all good for you and you're getting a lot of sugar in your "normal" food anyway.  Maybe... maybe not go and buy four chocolate bars because they're on sale and you know that eating them will make you feel a bit happier for a moment or two.

I'm not saying I'm going sugar free.  I wasn't about to turn down the gluten free cupcake my parents got me, for example (although I couldn't finish it!) But I'm no longer putting (read: pouring) it into my tea, and I'm trying to have my snacks (read: popcorn) with water instead of the pop I usually have with it and I haven't bought any candy or chocolate in a few days.. maybe weeks... and I'm hopefully retraining my brain that yes, I feel bad, I'd like SUGAR, but... no.  Not going to.  Fruit will taste sweet.  And then something else to fill your "hungry" feeling.  And I have some bubble gum flavoured gum and some more naturally sweetened cereal I'm having when I want something REAL BAD LIKE. 

I don't feel like I do well with absolutes with things right now, so I'm not going to say I don't "do" sugar anymore, but I'm paying attention.  Reducing.  Trying to change the habits and patterns that go with it (usually emotional or poor eating) It's not for weight loss (but I imagine that may be a side benefit) it's to help my body.  And, honestly, I suspect it'll help my moods.

I'm sure at some point I'll have myself a treat of some sort (I'm looking at you Cadbury's Creme Eggs) and I pretty much expect some kind of physical crash and am curious to see if there would be any emotional crash too.

I didn't get through the whole documentary (it got pulled from YouTube before I finished it.. I'll often pause a show and come back to it later or the next day) but the young guy was sugar free and decided to add the "national average" of sugar to his diet to see what all happened.  Other than the frightening physical changes, both he and his girlfriend noticed negative impacts on his mood.  Also... he was lethargic.  And wanting to nap all the time.

Le sigh.  Familiar much?

But there you go... not something I was planning on talking about.  I haven't actually told anyone in my life (other than mentioning it to Jason) that I'm doing it because I'm not "doing" it, you know?

I just...

Yeah.  Pretend I never said anything maybe.  I gotta go chew some gum.