Oh?

It's funny, after yesterday's post... I had a session with my very cool new acupuncturist (and by cool, I mean, awesome) and she reminded me that it's ok to rest for times when moving through stuff.  And that it's time for me to put myself first (rather than always fixing/helping/healing others before myself) and that it may all feel uncomfortable and difficult, but I am moving forward and she's "feeling" progress.

And then I got utterly exhausted when my counsellor had me breathe.  Because, yes, that is a major thing for me.  I think I kind of control my breath in order to keep emotions and feelings under control so to be in that kind of a vulnerable space and be asked to breathe aka feel?  Ugh.  HARD.  DO NOT LIKE.

But as they say, the only way over is through...

My homework for the week then is to breathe.  And to stop planning. 

Which kills me.  But as he said, it's clearly not helping.  And if the goal is calm?  Can't keep doing what's got me to where I am.

So I'm going to .... not think about vans and/or DPW and/or Burning Man until I either hear back from DPW, or tickets go on sale, or my counsellor says I can plan again.

Or something.

Which looks on paper a whole lot easier than it feels inside my me.

Why can't it be and feel easier to make positive change?

Seriously.