Less Concerning This Time

I'm sure I remember talking about this last year but I don't honestly feel like searching for it... in part because I don't want to re-read some of those posts right now.  Last March was bad.  My own anxiety went through the roof, as did that of many... even some who'd maybe not experienced that feeling in quite the same way before.  And so I don't want to revisit that right now by searching for this post, but I do think I wrote about it last Spring.  Because I'm pretty sure I remember talking about this and being scared about it.

I had, last week, a feeling of not being able to get a full breath.  Like I couldn't get my lungs to fully expand all the way to let in the proper amount of air.  (It's weird to explain, but it's like ... I dunno, resistance from muscles... that sort of feeling?)

I checked my blood ox levels (I know, not hospital accuracy but reassuring nonetheless) and I was totally fine, so I knew it wasn't like actually "not getting oxygen", but I think I remember the feeling last year and wondering if it was stress, and then deciding it was some sort of weird allergy thing and then worrying that I might have caught Covid (I didn't have a blood oxygen measuring thing at first last Spring) and just not sure I could convince myself of what was going on and wondering why "allergies" would give this sort of a feeling.

And then last year I must have forgotten about it.  Must have been able to "get full breaths" again and moved on.  So when I had that same feeling last week I at least had the memory of last year to compare against.

So, yeah, I guess it's the season of plants sending off... you know, stuff... and some of our bodies disliking that stuff.  I don't consider myself someone with allergies but over the last few years I've had some new to me things go on in my body that seem to be helped by a Reactine (allergy pill) so.... maybe?

The "can't get a full breath" thing may be posture, may be stress, may be muscles, may be allergies, I don't know, and I'm nowhere near concerned enough to go into a doctor about it.  (Hell, I haven't gone in to physically see a doctor in a year.  I should... probably do that... but... meh... I still feel like avoiding the physical stuff and just dealing with "over the phone" stuff for now....)

Anyway.  All I'm saying with this post is that breathing stuff that has come up in the last week or over the last month or so isn't as terrifying as it was last year when I had no idea if every little thing was possibly Covid.

Man this year has not been easy.