Oh Right

Oh, right, it's Monday, I should post...

Um, let's see.  I do not remember at all what I may have said or not said about things in the last week or three, and I could go look but, you know, tired.  I'll maybe just let myself "repeat", or something...

One of the (unrelated to me) things I've been having a really hard time with is (ongoing) discoveries of unmarked graves of Indigenous children at residential school locations.  I didn't grow up learning about residential schools when I was a child (most of us didn't) but I did learn about them at some point and I've continued to learn about the horrible things and lasting effects.

And this process that we as a nation are going through right now is necessary and difficult.  I can't think of a country that doesn't have some things in their past to reckon with and I know for a lot of people it's "too much" in some way and they're not going to think about it or they're not going to change their ways of thinking.

For me, I'm just so sad.  Sad for the losses.  The cultural losses, the ongoing generational trauma.  The losses of those children.  Children.  I can't.

I went to buy groceries the other day and noticed all the checkout people were wearing orange ribbons (the colour used to represent those lost children) and I started to cry.  

I am not comfortable talking about this here, or online in general and I know my sadness or hurt or upset around this is nothing compared to those directly affected.  My heart and soul hurt for so many reasons and I know saying that isn't enough and doesn't help or change or fix anything.

I try to hold out hope that something positive will come from this and these discoveries.  And I try to recognize the duality of life and humanity as a thing that will probably always exist.