I Said No Buddy

Speaking of things I'd rather not have to deal with.... I've been attempting to have some chats with some spiders in my place.

The "long legged" dudes that I see most often I've learned that they make the puffy type webs and they just abandon them when done (the smaller spiders apparently re-consume their web when they move but these guys/gals just leave it).  It's the type of spider web that you see around halloween decorations, those sort of messy poofy ones rather than the pretty design circular ones.

So I've been having to vacuum up more of these messy webs which honestly makes me feel like a bad housekeeper as all of a sudden it looks like that corner or that area has never been touched, all cobwebby!

But anyway.  Twice in the last month or so one of these long spider dudes has set up in a corner of my shower.  The first time I politely said that I didn't think they would get any action there and they eventually moved on.  But then yesterday, I found a BIGGER one in that same corner (maybe the same one came back once it grew up a bit or maybe it was a new one that also thought that corner would rock) and it gave me a jump when I went to have a shower and saw it so I also politely told it "I don't think that is a productive corner, you should probably move."

And then when I went to bed last night I found that GIANT spider on my bedroom wall. 

Uh, NOPE.  We don't go in the bedroom, remember?  (And I had to not think about it probably crawling across my pillow case with its dirty little spider feet...!). So I went to trap it and throw it into the building hallway but this guy was SO long legged that my usual cup wasn't able to safely trap it without capturing a leg or two (yes it was bigger than a glass!) so I had to do some fancy encouraging and finagling to get it into the cup without hurting it or letting it escape and then I got it out into the hallway and that's when I pretend that they will somehow never magically come back into my apartment!

So, yeah, I'm kind of really wishing that spiders could understand English, although I would very much like to make it clear that I do NOT want them to be able to speak.  No thank you.

Just, stay out of my face, and I'll leave you alone.  No bedroom, no kitchen, and like I get you making the webs but it's making me feel like I'm sloppy so... maybe, like... don't?  Ok thanks bye!