Waves At EVERYTHING

This hasn't been an easy month for me and my stress and anxiety have been HIIIIIIIIGH. (Knock on wood I'm a little calmer now than I was at the start of the month... hopefully that sticks around...)

I needed to go over to my parents and my Mom must have noticed I was a little off and asked what was stressing me and I blurted out "the state of the world!"

Jason says that "everyone" is feeling it right now and maybe that's true but it doesn't help me any to hear that. 

I probably mainly mean "North America" and probably more mainly mean "America (and what might happen next in Canada)" and I probably actually for real mean "things that are happening outside of my little actual life circle and I'm seeing people react to them on social media and I'm thinking too much about it and feeling imagined feelings that aren't even mine and like I could stop using the apps but I don't?"

I feel caught somewhere between "everything's fucked and we're all doomed" and "my counsellors say to be mindful which means being in this precise moment and I'm actually safe and well"....

I'm sure others are handling "the state of the world" better and maybe some are handling it worse, I don't know.  I could go on and on and ON about the wrongs I see and the issues I have and the judgments I hold and the way I think things should be (TM) but I'm trying not to vent too much here or on social media in general.  But damn if I don't just want to dump it all out sometimes.

But... the sun has been out, which means it's been cold and I'm ok with the cold when the sun makes the days that much prettier.  (Although the cold does feel sort of sudden as we've had a really mild winter so far so I feel like I'm not used to it so extra sensitive or something!)