More (Or Less)

As I was getting into bed last night I was thinking about all that's going on in the world right now and the fact that I'm really very stressed by it.

I'm not talking about it much here for a few reasons, including not wanting to get in to it with folks - like not wanting to talk about it and especially not wanting to argue or debate or defend how I feel about it.  (Plus trying to keep things positive?)

But as I was thinking through this I was also thinking about the fact that I didn't talk about the early days of my mental health situation and being "pulled" from work and all of that because I was trying to protect myself and/or my privacy or job or something and so when I go look in the archives of those days I know there was more going on and I'm a little sad I don't have a record of it.  (I think the personal paper diaries I wrote at the time were actually burned in the Temple the last time I went to Burning Man so I don't have those either and that's ok.) 

So it made me consider maybe writing more about, if not the political machinations, perhaps at least how they're impacting and affecting me?  

I don't know.

I've been quite hurt in the past by comments either well meant or not that hit a nerve and I probably overthink what I write in response to that at times.  It's hard to grow a thick skin but I'm working on it, soft-hearted as I am. 

In case I decide against talking about it.... a short summary.  America (some of it anyway) re-elected D. Tr*mp (not typing out the full name as internet bots scour posts to comment if you don't speak positively about all thing related) and since coming in to office he has done things not just to his own country but has threatened to take over other countries including Canada.  Canadians, myself included, are boycotting.  Again, not all, but many.  Cancelling travel plans to the states, not buying American goods and products, not using American sites to buy things, etc etc.  There are tariffs and a trade war.  This is possibly going to make existing here even more expensive.  Many Americans are seemingly very happy with all that's happening and mad at anyone who isn't.  Many Americans are unhappy with all that's happening and mad at anyone who isn't.  There is talk of an invasion, not in so many words.  Europe is talking war time talk.  I don't want to live in this world - in this reality - in this timeline.

I try to ignore and live moment to moment.  To be mindful as they say.  I have people in my life who are broken by this.  And some (apparently?) not bothered at all.  Or at least not vocally.   I've got people denying the worries I have.  I hope they're right. 

I don't want to turn this into a political blog.  It's a personal blog.  But my person is being impacted by the choices being made by people in the country right next to mine.  And it really really sucks.