So things have not been good or easy around here (here meaning my mind/brain not, you know, the absolute mess the world also happens to be in... sigh) for the last few months and just when I thought things might have been lightening up they got worse.
Worse for Jason, really which all things considered means worse for me. Yes, yes, I know, someone else's feelings and upset "shouldn't" bother and upset me but they do (yes counsellors have mentioned co-dependence as a potential issue here) and that's just what I'm dealing with right now.
So because Jason has been incredibly not ok I have been incredibly concerned and stressed and worried and beyond anxious.
And this is all on top of all the things about our friendship I was just about to maybe start talking about here. But yeah, things are NOT GOOD right now. (I'm writing in a half decent mood/time though so yay for that at least.)
The weather shifted here a couple of days ago and we've gotten more seasonably appropriate temperatures (I'm still not back to full winter bedding though... go figure) and the sun has come out (these two things are related as the rain clouds keep the heat in... in non scientific terms) and the difference seeing that sun makes is immense.
(Trying hard not to mention summer here but just quickly... sun without stifling heat is always lovely..... just saying.)
Because I'm in a decent enough mood at the moment I sat myself down to try to write which is how we ended up with this post that I'm not sure says much but is at least a post, you know?
I've had some REALLY hard/bad/rough/awful moments. But as my counsellors would want me to point out.... I'm here and I'm dealing with them. (As much as it sucks at the time to have to do so.)
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