The Noise

Last year (or maybe last last year seeing as we just entered a new one and all) I had a naturopath suggest that if the things she suggested didn't result in weight loss and a change in my "pre diabetic" blood work status, she would put me on a GLP-1.

This didn't sit well with me and for that and a number of other reasons I did not return.  But the idea that it was offered sits at the back of my mind as I struggle with the weight that came on "for no reason" a couple of years ago (the "reason" by my non-medically trained guess is hormones... perimenopause) and that isn't going away despite my trying. 

I have a friend who let me know that she is on a GLP-1 and so I asked her some questions about her experience.

One of the things that I have read/heard from people who are on these medications is that they get rid of the "food noise" which I didn't know/realize was a thing until I started hearing the term used.

And man oh man is that ever a thing I have.

I have food noise and water noise and what *I* mean by that is I am constantly thinking "how much water have I had today?"  "Have I had enough water today?" and lately (for reasons I haven't blogged about yet) I've been tracking my water intake and so that "drink enough water" noise is even louder since I have to  (sorry, am "choosing to" mark down when I'm consuming what amount.)

But after talking to my friend about her experience with food noise and the lack of it on the medication I realize how much I think about food all the damn time. 

What do I want to eat?  Should I eat that?  I think I'm hungry.  Should I snack?  Oh it's close to dinner, oh god what do I want to eat and can I make that?  Probably not, so what do I do?  And yes, I'm tracking my calories too so that adds to the noise... where am I at, how much protein have I had?  Oh damn I haven't had enough fiber (as Jason L said, the protein obsession of this year is fiber for sure.) But like it's pretty constant.  I want a snack, I want treats, I want something salty, I should have a meal, I should check my protein levels, I should I want I should I want.  All.  Damn.  Day.  And even watching the clock until "last food of the day" as I described recently.... clock watching so that I eat at 7:30pm and not later by "accident."

I imagine this is a sub section of the anxiety in my system or maybe a mild form of disordered eating, I'm not sure, and I don't know if it's important enough to bring up with my doctor and I certainly feel like I have bigger fish to fry in my counselling times so I'm not sure I'm going to do anything about it until/unless I do.

But I also know it's extra noisy in my head these days and maybe trying to make sure I'm fed is an ok thing for my brain to be stuck on rather than something more sinister, I don't know.

But yeah, I was sitting here feeling kind of hungry while writing this and figure it was worth trying to sort out with some typing and babbling. 

And as an aside, I don't know if this is what like clinical "food noise" is and I don't know if this is unusual and I feel like maybe this is just how an adult has to think about feeding themselves and dear lord I feel for my mother who never liked/likes to cook having to meal plan and cook for all of us for so many years....