You Know

After writing that yesterday I just got so angry and mad at myself.

Because it's unlikely I have ADHD what with no childhood symptoms (that I know of or that anyone would likely report were I to ask them) so that turned into me berating myself for all the things I struggle to do or don't do or avoid doing or put off on doing because in my brain that then means that "I just suck." 

Because in a black and white way (which anxiety loves to do for me) if these "failings" are due to something that can be fixed with a medication then yay everything will improve! But since they're unlikely to be due to that, it just means I'm not a good enough, strong enough, focussed enough, determined enough person and that sucks to think.

So either way, I guess I have lots to talk about when I see my counsellor next, eh?