Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Judgy McJudgerson

I am a judgmental person.

I am.  I'd be lying if I said otherwise.  I see things or hear things or come across things and I have thoughts about it.  Negative thoughts.  "I'm better than they" thoughts.

But... I try not to do anything about it.

Or, at the very least, I'm aware of it.

For example... I "un-hid" my online dating profile last week.  I don't really know why.  I don't want to date, but I'm not sure me wishing things with Jason would get "better" is particularly healthy either so....  But yeah, I "un-hid" my profile and got pretty discouraged by the whole thing.

And then (getting back to the main point of this already rambling post) I got a message that just said "Into couples? :)" and the profile led to that of a couple looking for "just fun."

And I judged.

Got into this self-righteous angry talk in my head about how that was just... ugh... why would they assume I wanted to sleep with them and I don't know, I just felt negatively towards them.

When really... no, it's not something I'm interested in, but I suppose if it works for them and it's all done safely and openly (no one's feelings get hurt, etc.) and they and the other person involved are totally ok with it it's fine.  Just not for me.

It probably doesn't make me a better person in any way that I don't think I'm interested in what they're talking about.

Maybe judgement is all about self esteem (I probably read that somewhere or something.)  Like, I mentally try to build myself up by saying Oh, they're bad/wrong.... I would NEVER do such a thing or I know better etc. etc.

I don't know.  I just was going to ignore the message, just delete it, but then I thought I should message back and just say no, but then I got on this thought that there are people out there who would say yes and I don't know how I feel about that.  But then again, that's like saying the fact that I get spam email about growing my pee-pee, or meeting hot sexy girls in my area must mean that those spam ads work?

Blah... I'm probably now just judging myself for judging others and that's not much cooler.

So, yeah.  I don't expect I'm going to start having sex with a married couple, I don't think that's my thing.


Jason Langlois said...

I think it's okay for it not to be your thing. We can't be into everything, after all.

Victoria said...

Nope, that's true!

kandijay said...

So, I'm catching up on your blog after a few days away, and I read the last sentence of this entry first. And it taught me to always start at the beginning. ;)

Victoria said...