Well...

I did stay at Jason's last night, there was enough of a temperature difference there to make things livable, if not pleasant or entirely comfortable. 

Just at the tail end of a flat out panic attack this morning though.  Not what I'd like to be dealing with but it is what it is I guess.

I'm trying to tell myself I just have to get through today but there's this thing that's happened the last few mornings of the heat where I wake up and am kind of ok and then the reality hits me that it's going to be another hot, not good day and I lose it.  And unfortunately this morning that happened here at Jason's and so I've been high anxiety leading to panic attack since about 5 am.  (I have chosen to take something for this, I hope it helps, I mean it will help, but, yeah)

I don't know what to do with today.  I have to go to my place to check on things and it's going to be ugly and I don't have the energy for it.  Jason wants to go out to a lake or river or something (one with fewer people, not one of the popular ones) but I'm pretty anxious about that for reasons.

So at this exact point I'm not sure what I want to do except I have to check in on my place and get a few things there and maybe shower and I should stop typing now, it's setting me off again.

Um, to conclude this essay, it's hot, I'm not doing great, hope you are!