Apologies

I was thinking this morning that when I apologize here for not writing enough or not talking about stuff or keeping big things to myself, I'm really, I mean yes I'm apologizing to you, but I'm also apologizing to myself, because I don't talk about it much at all and so it's like I'm cheating myself out of processing and venting and maybe even clarifying.

I talk a lot to Jason sure, but if the issues involve him or would affect him I may not do so.  I talk to my counsellors, but that's a time by time thing, not all day every day, and plus I'm trying to focus on certain things there and not get carried away by ALL THE REST that life is.... you know?

So I'm sorry to me that I'm keeping so much in.  I'm sorry to us that I have so much to talk about and am not really doing so.

I can't go back and write out the things in the past... that time has gone of course.  But I'll say again as I've said before, I'll try here.  For my own sake most of all.