Uncomfortable

We're in for a hot week it seems, and I'm trying not to be too nervous in anticipation but I am worried...

I've not slept well this month or so and the warmer nights are worse for that.  I know I have actual PTSD from last Summer and so I have made some adjustments since then to try to help.  I have a portable A/C unit.  I've used it already this Summer and it was... not what I'd hoped I guess, but better than nothing and at least somewhat helpful.  Although to be whiny, not at night because I can only handle so many hours of the noise of it and fans and turn them off eventually hoping the night air will be cool but... yeah.  

We also seem to have a new family in our building who speak Russian.  I'm wishing there was a way to find out if they are possibly refugees (they have the Ukranian crest on their car but could be supporting rather than from there?) but I don't want to be nosy but also while I'd love to offer help and support I don't know what I could really offer?  But yeah, I noticed them because they park near the window I sit at the most and I took a year of Russian when I was in school in England so I recognized a few words... I don't know, but I do know I'm overthinking, but with good intentions and caring.*

I know people love the heat.  C-Dawg, for example, is stoked that this week is going to be so warm and sunny and I know a LOT of people are like that too... "Yay, Summer is finally here!"  but for many of us there are physical limitations of the amount of heat we can manage.  And the place you live is a big part of that.  I get sun hitting GIANT windows in the hottest part of the day, no shade, not even any way to make shade (I'd kill for an awning... I also may quietly look into UV blocking window films...) and I'm up a level and blocked on both sides by buildings so when the heat kicks up and the wind dies down either no air comes in or the air that might attempt to come in is warm-hot.  C-Dawg,  on the other hand, has a shaded back yard and a house and windows all around said house so she can always get a thru breeze, and almost always get cool air from that shaded back yard, plus being able to retreat to said back yard if needed.  Plus a full basement with bedroom and bathroom that can be slept in.  I don't.

Jason also lives in a house, but their hose gets no shade (other than one spot in the yard that they've cultivated a tree for that exact reason) and their back yard becomes a hot box in the warm times and their house is poorly built and insulated and traps heat and is hard to keep cool.  There was a basement (that I escaped to in the heat dome last year) but it flooded in the November atmospheric river and hasn't been made into a functional space again... yet.  So Jason isn't far off from my living space situation... he has a back yard but it's too hot for most of the day so doesn't really count until late into the evening.  The house doesn't cool down and getting a breeze can really only happen from the front yard and that's just the best that can be done.  Jason doesn't do well in the heat (anymore) either.  Both he and I can have panic attacks from overheating which is a thing I'd prefer not to have experienced and both he and I have physical body stuff from being too hot.  And I?  Also don't sleep in the heat.  So... yeah, it's a mixed bag with some folks enjoying it and having a decent respite at home and others?  The opposite.

People have asked me how I could have managed Burning Man when I'm so not ok with heat and I've tried to explain that I don't really handle it much better BUT... I've chosen to do it.  I KNOW it's only for 10 days and it WILL be cooler when I go home (just if nothing else by being by the water and lower elevation it is never as hot in the Pacific Northwest as it is in Oregon/California/Nevada).  Also at Burning Man it is non stop distraction.  Yes, my first year the heat was awful and I thought I might die and might have had heat stroke and I never wanted to go back.  But I learned a few things (like keeping electrolytes up and eating well) and got a bit more used to it each year after that but it is SO much easier and nicer to be way too hot and sitting in your shade in the desert people watching than it is being in your small apartment with nothing but a laptop to watch.  You know?

I've tried to make vague plans for the week... maybe Jason and I will hit some beaches/lakes/rivers when we can and I'll just run the damn A/C unit all day (and... evening???), and I'll try to plan for not using the stove etc.  And I'll try to just get through each day... exercising in the mornings, keeping blinds shut (I've already put up blankets and what I could over the blinds), running my fans to move some air, doing what I can to not be driven insane by the noise... maybe using extra meds at night to push myself closer to hopefully sleep...  taking electrolyte tabs, trying to eat well, maybe going to be by some water.... I'll try to be as ok as possible.  I'll try to remind myself it won't be like last year.  And I'll try to let myself use the A/C and not worry about the cost (financial and environmental) and not get stressed by the noise... and I'll try not to be stubborn about toughing it out.  Oh and hydrate.... extra water.  Plus I did "heat making" things last week like laundry and dishwasher so that hopefully I can avoid them this week.

I'll try.  And if you enjoy the heat, please enjoy it extra for me because I wish it wasn't like this for me, I truly do.

 

 

*Why did I randomly start talking about this in a post almost entirely about the coming heat?  Because they came home... and I heard them... that's why.