C-Dawg has been busier than usual lately so our catch up conversations are often short and on the fly (she sometimes calls me when waiting for her kid to come out of school or something like that).
One of the last few times we talked she said something about retiring in less than 10 years and I am kind of freaking out.
I'm kind of freaking out because I don't see how that's possible when I feel like we started our careers (similar job remember) at the same time and she's younger than me and I have far more than 10 years until I can think about retiring?
Is it because I took that time off of work due to illness and still haven't returned to full time? Maybe? And she has a different financial situation than I do (husband, kid, house, mortgage) so no I'm not aware of her financials but also I have kept in the back of my mind this hope that maybe we can work at the same location again and now I feel this stupid time pressure and realization that she may stop working and I'll have to keep going and then what? What if I manage to get a job at her location and she retires and then it sucks? What if we don't have as much to talk about if she's no longer working?
I mean these are all things that may seem useless to think and worry about but that's how it is with anxiety. There are a million things that could happen before 10 years from now. I think I was just shocked to have someone a couple of years younger than me who has been working the same length of time as me talk about retirement so much sooner than I am. At this point I don't know when I'll be financially able to retire, to be honest, and the idea of going on and on and on at this while the prices of things continue to rise just sets me off into what could be a panic spiral so I'm just not going to keep going down this route of thought right now.
But yeah, I guess in the next decade, people "my age" or close to it will start... stopping to work. And I'll just have to get used to that.
This "middle age" shit is so effing weird y'all.
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