I KNOW that a few times this week I was totally aware that this thought or that thought I was having with myself was something I wanted to write about here. And now that I'm taking the time to sit and type, do you think those thoughts are anywhere near me? NOPE!
Sigh.
I suppose I can use this to segue into my general concerns with my memory.
Again, I'm aware that less accurate memory is a hallmark of older folks and I feel like more often than not lately I'm struggling with my own lack of memory.
For myself, I know that stress and anxiety take away memory ability and I know that some of the medication I use also affects memory but man it can be really uncomfortable at times and I feel for those living with diagnosable memory issues.
I don't just mean the whole "why did I come into this room" thing, that's been around for ages, I mean the feeling I get of reaching for a thought or idea or memory that I *know* should be there and it's just not.
It's the fuzziness or blank that comes around thinking about my past days. And sometimes, to do with my mental health, it's a complete blank of saying something or hearing something that someone else (usually Jason) assures me I said or heard or did. So I don't mean that... the stress blanks I get from time to time when my anxiety is or has been high. I mean this feeling of searching and nothing is there. It's unsettling.
I'm not willing, at this point, to stop taking my medications to see if that improves my memory and I do try to rely on the same reminder type things that I have for years, but it's more the in-betweens. Not so much trying to remember what I needed to get at the store - I have a list for that, have had a list for that for ages. It's the bigger, maybe deeper things that get to me, and of course I can't think of (remember) an example right now... that would be too easy you know?
But anyhow. I had great thoughts for posts I wanted to babble about and I've no idea right now what they were.
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