More Deep Thoughts*

*(Anyone else remember Jack Handey?)

I was thinking about the absolute power of words and the choice we all make with how we say what we're saying.

See, the other day my dental office contacted me and said they needed to change my appointment and would I be able to come in earlier in the day.  This new time conflicted with my work hours but I wanted to keep it on that day and with that hygenist so I said it was fine and I then booked the time off work.

Then I started to think about what I would tell people if anyone asked why I had missed work (spoiler, no one did).  "Oh, I had to go to the dentist," I might say.  You know, HAD to... an imposition... implying that I didn't want to and wasn't thrilled about missing work.

But to my brother I joked "Aw shucks, I have to miss work!" with a tone that said haha I didn't want to go to work and so I'm only pretending to be upset!

Then my brain went even more into thinky mode.  

The fact is that I was not at work because I was at the dentist.

I didn't *have* to go at that time, but I wanted to.  But saying I "had" to go is like a way of protecting against any perceived judgment that I wanted to miss work.

If anyone had asked me, the most simple answer to "why weren't you at work yesterday" would be "I was at the dentist."

That's presenting fact, not editorializing with "had" to or "got" to or "needed" to. 

I think I did feel some guilt knowing that I was happy enough to have the time off of work even though going to the dentist stresses me out, and so to assuage that guilt I said something like "oh the dentist needed me to come in earlier," which is also true, but internally felt like I was excusing myself since I knew inside that I was happy to "miss" work.

I was at the dentist - I had to go to the dentist - My dentist needed me to come in earlier - My dentist offered me a new time and it was during work hours - I got to miss work and get my teeth cleaned instead - I didn't want to go to work, I rarely do, so I used their change in situation to my advantage and took the time off - I had a dentist appointment.

All of these things are giving the same basic information but each has its own tone and spin.

I think we all "spin" our words a lot for a variety of reasons but there really is, at least for me, a big mental and emotional (?) difference between saying "I HAD to go to the dentist" and "I was at the dentist."  Am I making sense?

Word choice matters and has a lot of power.  And, no, I don't need us all to start overthinking every little thing we say but I do think I'd like to try paying a bit more attention to either being more positive in my word choice or more neutral/factual. I don't have to excuse the thoughts I have secretly in my head... they're literally just in my head (until I type them out here!)