Slippery

I had a sort of realization the other night about how relatively simple it might be for someone to go down the..... well, the sort of paranoia/conspiracy type road.  Bear with me here.

I was making my bed a month or two ago and I noticed a spot of blood right around shoulder height on my fitted sheet.  I figured it was from the shot(s) I got the day before and shrugged it off.  No big deal, it was a tiny spot, it would wash out.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and I was getting into bed and I noticed two blood spots in the same area but on the top sheet this time.  I pulled the sheets up to double check the height of it and then I took a look at my arm that I assume the blood was coming from to check to see if I had been bit or scratched some kind of scab or what.  

And what I saw was a tiny little purple blue area that looked exactly like what the vaccine spot had looked like.  

I got up and went to the bathroom and looked at it in the mirror.  I don't remember exactly where I got my shots but I didn't think it was that exact location but it also didn't feel like a bite and there was no evidence of active bleeding so likely not a scab.  As I was walking back to my bed a small part of my brain said "yeah, almost as if someone broke in and gave you a shot!"

And, well, no, but I did sit in that moment and sort of recognize and feel that it would have been fairly easy for me to accept that (odd) thought and run with it.  Like YES, it's obviously the spot where I got a shot but I didn't get a shot so someone GAVE me one without my knowledge! 

I mean as I type it out it sounds ridiculous and I'm nowhere near believing that could happen for SO many reasons, from as simple as I have a chain on my door, you can't just unlock it and get in.... but that thought came in to my brain unbidden and if my brain chemistry or state of mind was slightly different, I might be freaking out and then feeling awful when no one believed me etc etc.  So I feel for those that seem to be stuck in thoughts that most of us see as unreal because yeah, my brain went there all on its own.

I still don't know what caused the small amount of bleeding.  A bite seems most likely, or some mild skin bump I scratched off in the night.

But in a non paranoid way, I've checked on that purple bump part again just before writing this post and it's still there.  I checked because on that same arm, in that same area, about 20 years ago I had something they called a hemangioma, which looked like a small blob of blood that quite regularly would burst (in the photos of my brother's wedding, you can see the small round bandaid I put on it to ensure it wouldn't burst and cause a scene!) and they removed that (leaving the only "surgical" scar I have on my body... knock on wood) and so I'm keeping a small eye on that area in case another one is growing or something like that.

If I end up with another blood spot in that area I might take the arm (and the rest of me!) to the doctor but right now other than a weird purple "freckle" nothing much is amiss.  Could have been, like I said, a bite or a something I scratched off, or it could be another unusual blood vessel party forming.  I don't yet know.

But yeah, that conspiracy type slope is a slippery one and it was almost more frightening to think I might have ever believed the thought than it was to have it.