I think that maybe a lot of my "extra" (whatever that is) energy is being drained by general world stress (it sucks living next to America as it implodes/explodes) and so daily basics are sort of all I have the mental stamina for right now.
That comes and goes and maybe this has been a tougher couple of weeks due to some medical stress (I had some "you're of age" tests I needed to do that I'll talk about once I'm more alert, nothing major just preventative stuff) and work stuff (don't talk about work but GAH!)
When I went to aqua fitness was it yesterday? I literally wanted to float in the water and go to sleep while I was waiting for class to start. Like just lie back and close my eyes and drift off into a nap.
I mean, I know that's not what would have happened (sinky sink!) but the idea of it was so strong that when someone kindly asked how I was doing I blurted out EXHAUSTED!
I even texted C-Dawg later and said that I had exercised and had some protein (both things meant to give energy) and that I was still super tired and she said to nap and I replied that I actually wasn't sleepy enough for a nap? Like I guess the exercise had enlivened me enough that I wasn't sleepy but I was still so so tired.
Perhaps, I suppose, this is a factor of aging. Or the state of the world. Or my personal health. Dunno the cause, dunno if knowing the cause would help or change anything anyway. I am bone tired in a not sleepy way. Depression tired maybe?
I mentioned the election the other day and I actually had a panic attack at work that morning when I saw something in the news about it. That sucked. Then Australia had an election and they seemed just as worried as we had been and they also are relieved by their results.
"Conservative" in politics doesn't mean what it used to.... not even what it meant a decade ago, certainly not a generation ago.
Are these two chunks of my post related? Nope! But I do think that politically based stress and anxiety is part of why I've felt so damn drained of late.
No comments:
Post a Comment