The 'Gram

A mammogram is an x-ray of the breasts, primarily (as I understand it) used in the screening of breast cancer.

Here in BC, we have a mammography, uh, program? that will screen women over a certain age or risk factor for free.  I wasn't aware that that "certain age" was 40, so I haven't had a mammogram yet and to be honest, I've avoided looking in to it out of fear of finding something wrong (a small fear and one I recognize is not based in sense) and fear of the pain I've heard and assumed they involved.

But when I went to that aforementioned naturopath she asked about my "last" mammogram and when I was talking to C-Dawg about how I had to say I'd never had one C-Dawg was not impressed and insisted I call for one that day.  I knew I'd been avoiding it and so I called, very anxiously, and made the appointment for last week.

I was really really nervous and scared leading up to it, like really.  And I told the technician that if I cried it wasn't anything personal but once we got started I wasn't scared.  She told me that if it hurt too much I should tell her but the first two "squishes" were totally fine and by the third things were less fine but I somehow didn't feel like I "could" tell her it wasn't great and then by the last one things really actually hurt but I still didn't say anything, I think in my brain I was like "I want them to get good images" and "it's for the best" but I really should have said something as I was really sore when I went to bed that night and I ended up crying over it.

Turns out that last one bruised me and I really really should have let her know it was too much and I'll totally be talking to my counsellor about that situation as it hearkens back to a thing in my childhood when I was at the Children's Hospital and I should maybe probably try to resolve that whole trauma.... sigh. 

I also nearly cried in the waiting room as they had signs up that showed they clearly understand it's an upsetting and potentially scary time for people (the signs were like "bring a friend" and "take deep breaths") but honestly, if you're putting it off like I did, it's some momentary discomfort (or pain if you're not willing to be honest like I didn't manage) to help hopefully prevent what can be a devastating illness.  C-Dawg and I have a friend who had a routine check in another country and they found the very start of breast cancer that would never have been found in a self exam and now she has gone through some pretty heavy duty treatment but she's not, you know.... to be blunt... dead.

So yeah, I had my first mammogram, better late than never.  I'm assuming there may be follow up as it's my first and the tech told me they have "nothing" to compare it against so anything "unusual" they may need or want to follow up on.  I'm not, at this moment, looking forward to doing it again in a year or two but I will and I'll try really hard to let them know what's not ok when it's not ok because like I said, two of the four were totally ok (if a little uncomfortable.)

If you have breasts, get them checked, and if you have a prostate get that checked and if you have other parts that can be checked, oh, like SKIN!, get it checked, eh?  (I get my skin checked regularly, it just seems to like to grow weird things that aren't an issue... knock on wood.)