It's Probably Fine

I had a mammogram a few weeks ago and the technician gave me the heads up that as it was my first, they (the cancer screening folks) would most likely want to see me for a follow up and that I shouldn't worry, it just was most likely a routine check since they had no previous imaging to compare to.

But when my doctor, on a call last week casually mentioned "and you know they want to do a follow up mammogram screening?" I was immediately scared.

I got my letter in the mail a few days later and then a call for scheduling a few days after that and so this week I'm going in to the big hospital for a follow up and while part of me is saying it's probably fine and probably just something they want to see a bit clearer, another part of me is really quite scared and worried that something may be wrong and the anxiety in my brain is, I'm not kidding, trying to plan out what I might want to take to the hospital for whatever surgery I'm going to need and like ok planning is one thing but this is "anxiety planning" and not currently necessary or helpful.

The good for me news is that it sounds like this is going to be *just* an ultrasound so no pain or really discomfort at all but I'm still scared.  

I think C-Dawg must have guessed or maybe I said something or something because she's offered to come with me to the thing and I think I might take her up on that, if only because it will give me something to look forward to on that day rather than worrying about finding parking and not getting lost, it would be nicer to think "oh cool, I get to see C-Dawg for a bit" but again, that anxiety portion of my system is like "oh but that's annoying for her and I don't want her to have to do the drive and maybe I'll act weird being there and I should just say no" but I think I might push myself to tell her "yes please and thank you" even though that makes me uncomfortable.  But... yeah.  It's probably fine and it's likely just routine and they told me this would happen and they're probably just getting me in "quickly" because they can and like it's probably going to be ok and maybe it'll be nice to hang out with my BFF in a not nice place (because I'm not in love with hospitals so yeah....)

Going for a follow up.  It's probably all just routine.