Sunday, 5 August 2007

Gender Bias

I've noticed lately, somewhat frustratingly, that I seem to be getting two different responses to what's going on with Smith and I and what I should do, or how I should feel.

What's most noticeable to me is that of these two, basically opposing views, one typically comes from women and one, typically, comes from men.

Most men seem to tell me that it's obvious this guy's not interested and sounds like he hasn't ever really been and that's too bad. Must be sad for you, but, well.... Move on.

Most women seem to tell me that it sounds very difficult and they've been through something similar and that hopefully it will work out. Some women tell me that it will work out if it's meant to and that I just need to hang in there.

I'm generalizing here, of course, but women seem to be somewhat hopeful while men seem to say "oh, it's over and he sounds like he was never in it anyway."

I know I'm only telling my, admittedly female, side of the story, so maybe women relate more to what I'm saying, or maybe we women are less realistic than men, or maybe men have an understanding of the male psyche and can see what Smith is doing. Maybe they've done it themselves?

I guess what bothers me is when I hear what the guys have to say about Smith not being interested. When I hear that it makes me angry. Angry with myself for being naive. I guess I tend to think that if the guys around me see it this way, and some women see it this way, then that's likely what Smith's thinking too seeing as he's a man and men must understand each other better than a woman could.

It's hard, when faced with these thoughts, to maintain a sense of peaceful acceptance of what might happen. It's hard to be neutral, even. I want to be somewhere in the middle. I want to believe it will work out if it's supposed to, while still being ok if it doesn't.

I suppose I'll be able to look back on this years from now and know who had a better read on the situation.

No offense, guys, but right now I'm rooting for the ladies.

6 Comments:

Blogger OneEar said...

Thanks for contributing to the First Unichurck.

I don't know what this Smith is doing or has done, but I can confidently say the what he is interested in is good food and drink and sex with nearly every woman he meets. His is a very basic gender.

Monday, August 06, 2007 9:25:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

I know, that's what his instruction manual said too.

Unfortunately, I can't cook.

Monday, August 06, 2007 9:39:00 am  
Blogger cocoa_no_gogo said...

Hello again Victoria,

Of course there is a difference between the way that men and women view your situation.

I hope that you are able to rediscover your balance soon.

Congrats on your 1 year blogging anniversary. I have become addicted to reading your posts and may even be obsessed with you. What are you wearing today?

Keep it Real!
Your pal,
CNG


I was going to post the above but then I hit refresh and saw that OneEar has chimed in. I too noticed your comment on the UniChurck blog and took this as a sign that you are missing me.

Unfortunately, now OneEar knows about you and this can only lead to trouble. However, that being said, I agree wholeheartedly with his comment. I recently read a book* where one of the themes is that sexual desire is the root of all conflict -- both for society and for the individual. To counter this and to achieve a sort of heaven on earth, one of the book's characters joins a cult of castrates. He seems pretty happy in the book.
Personally, I know I spend a lot of time each day thinking about having sex with women. Imagine how much more free time I would have if I didn't.
See I told you OneEar would be trouble.

*The People's Republic of Love by James Meek

Monday, August 06, 2007 10:39:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Cocoa, of COURSE I missed you! And, today, since you asked, I have on a slinky green number. With shorts. It's fabulous.

I'm kind of hoping I don't have to become a eunich to get some balance. Although... how could I, really?

If I didn't spend so much of my day worrying about which men wanted to have sex with me I'd have a lot more free time too. You may be on to something.

OneEar is scary. I shall hide from him on your advisement. ;)

Welcome back!

Monday, August 06, 2007 1:06:00 pm  
Blogger OneEar said...

Oh, Hi Coco,fancy finding you here.

Vic, You don't need to spend time worrying about which men want to have sex with you. That was my point, we all do. Nothing to worry about.

I advise both of you against becoming eunichs.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007 2:07:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

You know,OneEar if you and Cocoa are going to fight over me, I'd prefer if you didn't get blood all over the site, ok?

Thanks.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007 3:10:00 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Please don't steal stuff from here, it's not nice. But leave a comment, why don't cha? And drink more water. It's good for you.

P.S. If you think you know me? You probably don't. If you're sure you know me? Pretend you don't. I'll never admit I know what you're talking about anyway.

P.P.S. All this stuff is copyright from then til now (Like, 2006-2017 and then some.) Kay? Kay.