Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Out Of My Mind, Onto My Couch

I'm no better, as far as I can tell and am feeling rather like a Victorian lady, all weak and prone to spells and not really in possession of a working brain at all. It's terrible timing for work so I'll be back in tomorrow. Not sure that I'll be much use, but I don't have a whole lot of choice.

Or, at least, that's the way it feels.

It's times like these that I miss having a boyfriend; someone to cheer me up and call me and check to see how I'm doing. Someone to give me some sympathy and maybe even tuck me in and take care of me. Someone to baby me, I suppose.

Smith has been a touchy subject lately (speaking of not having a boyfriend), even around here. (I've received a couple of comments lately that suggested that it's time I "move on" and "get over" him. Which, you know, fair enough, but I'm going at my own pace here and doing the best I can.) Unfortunately, when I think about Smith these days my thoughts tend to be bitter and angry and that's just no fun to talk about.

I also keep in mind that Smith reads here occasionally and knowing that I'm aware of not turning this into a myspace type thing where the Exes post nasty things about each other for the whole interweb to see. So I try to let myself calm down before I post anything I think I might regret later. Hence, many deleted posts that never make it past draft stage.

But what was my point?

Right. It's in my low, quiet moments that I miss being in a relationship, and right now that feeling is generalized to Smith. (I've had the occasional odd moment of missing an Ex from two or three years ago, but that's probably just my psyche messing with me) I'll go through a whole day being beyond angry at Smith and then will be sitting reading, or watching a video and I'll suddenly want to call him and tell him I love him and can't we just work it out and be together?

Which is odd, because I no longer think that's a good idea and am maybe even starting to wonder about starting to date again. (But don't quote me on that, okay?)

Alas, I'm almost out of those special soft tissues and may have to get up the strength for a trip to London Drugs for more, but first I must shuffle my way to the bathroom to pee out all of the fluids I've been drinking because I'm a good girl and that's what you're supposed to do.

Hi. I'm sick. Sorry for the lack of cohesiveness.


Blogger Delton said...

Hey. Take care of yourself, ok?

Sorry for being one of the ones telling you to move on and get over it with Smith. You're utterly correct that you gotta deal at your own pace. It just sucks to watch you suffering through it all.

Also, I've had a word doc open all day trying to put together a story for you, based on that photo on the last post, but I haven't had time to finish it yet. Whenever I do, I'll post my "stewardess" inspired story to cheer you up.

Take care!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007 1:59:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Delton : )

Tuesday, September 18, 2007 2:17:00 pm  
Blogger Yvonne said...

Take care and I hope you feel better soon! {{hugs}}
I turn into a baby when I'm sick too. All I want is to return to my childhoold when my mom would make me all comfy on the couch, make me hot soup and tea and I'd watch cartoons all day. ;) (None of my exes were any good at taking care of sick me.)

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 1:51:00 am  
Blogger abstractjenn said...

Hi Victoria - I hope that you feel a little better today. Staying home sick from work is no fun if you are actually sick!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 4:05:00 am  
Blogger captain corky said...

Feel better, and feel better.

Hi. I'm Captain Corky, but you can call me Corky. ;)

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 5:16:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yvonne, I remember the "couch made comfy" with fondness!

Jenn, it was no fun at all : (

Well hi Corky,and thanks.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 7:54:00 am  
Anonymous ynbf said...

I'd send you a Hallmark card, but I
can't find any
Get-well-soon-And-also-get-over-Smith-soon-too card.
Sorry. But here's a photo of some
Yorshire pups instead.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 9:58:00 am  
Blogger Delton said...

Hope you're having a bit better of a day.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 1:14:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks ynbf. Maybe there's a new niche for Hallmark? Get well and get over your ex soon? heh.

Delton, while I would still rather have slept all day I do feel on the mend and better than yesterday : )

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 5:46:00 pm  

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