Tuesday 11 March 2008

Couched, Couch·ing, Couch·es


V. tr. : To word in a certain manner; phrase: couched their protests in diplomatic language.

Do you have any idea how much we do that? Pretty up what we're going to say in an attempt to make it, I don't know, hurt less?

I'm sorry, but...

I hate to have to tell you, but...

Can I ask you something?

I don't mean to be rude, but...

Can I ask you a personal question?

Don't take this the wrong way, but...

I know it's none of my business, but...

Sometimes, maybe it's necessary, and sometimes it helps make something difficult a little more polite, but sometimes I think people use these openers as an excuse to say something they really just shouldn't say at all.

I mean, really, "I hate to be rude..."? Okay, then don't.

Easy fix.



Or am I just over-sensitive?

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

so, what if it is fiollowed by something innapropriate, but not bad? Case in point.. I overheard a man tell a woman today "Don't take this the wrong way, but... you have an incredible ass!"

This was said in the workplace, so borderline harrassment, except the girl loved the attention.

GF Girl said...

I agree, sometimes we need those phrase to get out what follows, I actually used the I'm sorry but... yesterday to tell my online guy that I'm not re-booking the ticket to come see him. I've got the plague/death flu and am not traveling in this condition, so I canceled my trip for the weekend - in the process I realized that I am really not that into him - he's a great guy, he's just not THE great guy for me.

Laura said...

Someone once told me to be careful using the word "but," because it's a verbal eraser. It negates everything you said before it. And it's true, if you think about it. "I'm sorry, but I really hate the sound of your voice." If someone said that to you, what would you hear? The apology, or the insult? I'd only hear the insult.

Laura said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emma Gorst said...

Yes, when I hear those phrases my heart drops through the floor. Sometimes it's politer to be briefer and more to-the-point.

LeahA said...

i think we are just selfish and dont want to look like beeeeyotches !

Victoria said...

Slinger, I don't know what to say because I'm still laughing at that line!

Jenn, sorry about the plague/death flu. Gah. But, also, good that you figured out that he's not quite the guy for you, yay! Boo, death plague though ; )

Laura, man oh, man does the word "but" do just that for me. "I'm sorry but" all of a sudden means nothing. "I love you, but" means even less. Dude. I totally only hear the insult.

Aurora, sometimes they prepare in the worst way, don't they? :(

Leaha, yeah, I don't ever want to look like one of those! hee.

Anonymous said...

Isn't the proper definition... placing one's ass comfortably on a sofa whilst laying back relaxing and enjoying a game of footy??

Phrase: I couched through two games on the weekend... it was tough.

Ya, I'm big into couching.

;o) lol

Victoria said...

Ahhhh, hah hah hah hah!