Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Flying Solo

I'm not hanging out with Bird anymore.

You heard it here first.

I mean, not that there's really anywhere else you could go to hear about it, but still. You heard it here first.

See, Bird and I had plans for BC day and Bird? Didn't follow through. Again.

And he didn't apologize and he didn't do it well. In fact, Bird sent me a text message telling me he was going to the gym and then to bed.

Which left me downtown listening to the concerts by myself.

And it's not that I'd minded being down there by myself when I'd known company was joining me later, but being stood up in that way, and having the fun evening suddenly lose half its company can really bring a girl down. Which it did.

And then the nicest thing happened. I'd been text messaging earlier with a fellow I've just recently gotten to know (calm down, y'all, he plays for the other team, we're just hanging out) and when I told him I'd been stood up he immediately asked if I wanted him to come down.

Which I did.

And we had fun and we looked at cute guys together, and we enjoyed Feist's (always excellent) show.

But it was a stark contrast to me. This guy that I barely know, have hung out with a few times offering to come down and keep me company v/s Bird who had given his word that he'd come to the shows with me bailing without so much as a thought to how it might make me feel.


So I was hurt and upset and more than a little annoyed and so I sat down and wrote Bird out a letter explaining how I've felt he has treated me, especially recently, and asking why he wasn't talking to me about things. And then I texted him and asked him if I could have some time that weekend to talk to him. To which I got a pissy text message back. *sigh* So since we'd made plans with some other people to meet up the next weekend I decided I'd give the letter to him then since I didn't feel like dealing with a petulant child of a man.

And then he didn't show up that weekend.

And I decided to just scrap the letter and move on. Because if he didn't get it, what was my laying it out for him going to do? Probably not much.

I haven't heard from him since. I mean, sure, he showed up at a friend's house, but didn't make eye contact or say hi or anything until he was leaving.

At which point he looked at me and raised an eyebrow and said, with all his charm "What, I don't even get a hug?"

So I gave him one. Shaking my head at whatever the heck he must have been thinking. Or not thinking.

And then he left.

And I burst into tears. I burst into tears because I wanted him to be so different from who he is and I wanted our friendship to be wonderful and if anything romantic came from that, well that would just be a fantastic bonus, wouldn't it? I'd really thought he was different from the person he's shown himself to be and I get sad when it turns out the beautiful person I see only exists in my mind.

So I haven't heard from Bird in a couple of weeks and I don't expect to hear from him again, to be honest. Usually I'm the one who keeps in contact and checks in and as much as I'll miss having someone attractive and male to cuddle up with while watching a video, I'm done being treated like this. This isn't friendship. This isn't even a decent acquaintance....ship.

So while Bird and I were never dating and never kissed or anything? We're no longer together. The one sided friendship is done.

Which is kind of a bummer.

Guess it'll be a little boring(er) around here for a while. Sorry y'all.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear that. BOYS SUCK! Here's to new stories about better guys for you!! Gail in Ohio

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 8:13:00 am  
Blogger Michael Colvin said...

[And I decided to just scrap the letter and move on]

I want you to write that down and pin it to your fridge!

And I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you. Stick with your Gay friends, you'll have more fun. ;)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 8:26:00 am  
Blogger Likalia said...

Boys do suck. Where are the men, the grown ups?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 8:31:00 am  
Blogger dilling said...

don't be sorry...that's a wise thing you are doing, taking care of yourself and nothing to be sorry about.
smart girl!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 9:40:00 am  
Blogger Courtney K said...

please know that i'm going through your exact predicament (with some added makeout/loveydovey memories) and just know i'm here for you if you need me. we all need people to lean on sometimes.. those men, they don't know what they're missing...

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 10:08:00 am  
Blogger Ms Behaviour said...

That's very sad. I don't deal well with disappointment. I guess that rules out everyone with a Y chromosome. It makes me cry with frustration. That I can't control the fact that someone else can make me feel so let down. And then I get lonely because I think my life might be like this forever.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 12:03:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear it's ended so unhappily, but at least all that uncertainty is gone now. It is amazing how people can suddenly reveal themselves to be so different from who you thought they were.

And it's reading posts like this that make me understand why I've been asked so many times if I'm gay :)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 3:32:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Hey Gail... yeah, I'm looking forward to the new "better guys" stories too! Wheeeee!

Tod, I'll need to make room on my fridge! As for Gay friends, just the one so far, but yeah, he's a good (fun) guy :)

Likalia, boys are icky. I'm going to find me a grown up man this time! :D

Dilling, kay, no being sorry! T'anks ;)

Callalily, good to know I'm not the only one going through this kind of thing. Bummer that I'm not the only one going through this kind of thing though too. And yeah. Those men sure don't know what they're missing! *high fives ya*

EB, I'm not great with disappointment, but I'm learning over time to have it hurt less. Or at least for a shorter amount of time. But don't be lonely! There's a great guy out there just waiting to meet you! :D

Dominic, it is good to have things clarified. And good that I wrote it down so that I can remind myself if I ever "forget" the truth of the situation. And yeah, it is surprising and amazing when people do "reveal" themselves. And are you saying people ask you if you're gay because you're nice? Or because you read posts like this? ;)
tee hee

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 5:35:00 pm  
Blogger Yvonne said...

Wow indeed. ;(

Bird is more bird-brained than I ever gave him credit for! >;-(

I'm sorry that he sucks. {hugs}

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 7:41:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Bird is bird-brained. Hee hee hee!

Yeah, I'm sorry that he sucks too, but, whatever... there's someone better out there for me to hang out with I'm sure! ;)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 8:59:00 pm  
Blogger Alexandreena said...

Boys suck! That's really all the insight I have.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 5:05:00 am  
Blogger Sarah said...

I just went through that exact same situation a few months ago. It was literally heartbreaking to let it all go. Even though we were never really anything other than friends, I felt like we were more. It's a horrible realization to feel at first but you feel more empowered once you have let go completely. Right after I stepped away an amazing guy came into my life and I couldn't be more happier. He is the complete opposite of what this old guy was. Here's hoping you find someone that makes you happy and wants to spend time with you that won't disappoint you.
I'm so happy that you let Bird go. Good Luck with some new guys :)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 7:20:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Alexandreena, sometimes that's all the insight that's needed! ;)

Thanks Sarah. It's always reassuring to hear someone else has gone through the same thing and felt the same way, it confirms that I'm not loony or something. That's great you had a great guy walk in to your life. Yes, here's hoping my great guy shows up too! Thanks for the good luck wishes :D

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 7:57:00 am  
Blogger cocoa_no_gogo said...


You seem so nice. What's your deal? Do you have some sort of nervous tic or something?

The one-sided friendship thing is a drag.

I'm having a drink in your honor/honour. Here's to better days ahead.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 7:44:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Cocoa, I think you should have two drinks in my honor/honour! Better days, indeed :)

One-sided friendship is a drag, indeed.

No nervous tic, but having guys sign a pre-nup on first meeting tends to scare off the good ones ;)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 8:13:00 pm  
Blogger Jenn O'Neil said...

There is just no two ways about it - heartbreak sucks. One sided heartbreak sucks even more. This is obviously his issue although I know that doesn't make it any easier. Look at it this way it's someone's (God, Great Spirit or whatever you believe) of making sure you don't get the BIG heartache - just the small to medium size heartache - which still stinks.

Feel better

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 9:49:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Jenn, yeah, small-medium size heartache is WAY better than big :)

Thursday, August 21, 2008 7:56:00 am  

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