Friday, 16 October 2009

Advice, Continued

Ms Behaviour, or as I like to call her "Ms B", asked if I had any advice on "How to tell if he's uber metero or gay? Especially if he is being super friendly/demonstrating signs of being interested."

Ms B, this is a hard one, but one that I kind of have experience with. Sort of. (I had that cute temp spy worker guy who was super friendly and actually ended up asking me out for coffee, where he mentioned his partner. Who turned out to be another man. Which I hadn't seen coming.)

But I guess my advice may be more frustrating than helpful. Unfortunately, neither uber metro nor gay guys carry identity cards. So it's not like you can steal their wallet and rifle through to find the card that will tell you. The only way to find out is by actually . . . finding out.

My advice would be to ask him. Maybe not a tactlessly direct "So, does you like the ladies or the menfolks cuz I find you dishy but don't know if you'd kiss me?" but more of a "Tell me about your last relationship, where did you guys meet?" and then often during that conversation they'll mention their name or something. But keeping it in mind that often, in my experience, people may not be comfortable outing themselves until they know you well enough to be safe and so they may still just refer to their "partner".

I think the other advice I'd give you would be along the lines of "if he likes you, he'll let you know." I know sometimes we get all wrapped up in those "signs of being interested" as we interpret them, but usually if he is genuinely interested, he'll let you know. You won't have to guess.

It's hard to give great advice on this one without knowing more about how you know this guy and what your relationship with him is like, but I'd say the easiest way is to talk to him about it.

Hope that helps,
Victoria

What do you guys think? Any advice for Ms Behaviour? (Please note the "u" in her name. Go Canadian Spellings!)

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My advice: Ask him out. If he's gay he'll tell you, if he's metro then he'll ask to borrow your hair/skin products after spending the night.

Secondary thought: why would you date someone who is higher maintenance than yourself. While metro men may be well groomed, I can't even imagine the Personal Care costs.

Friday, October 16, 2009 1:41:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

There's a vote for asking him out Ms B! ;)

Friday, October 16, 2009 2:47:00 pm  
Blogger FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com said...

I am definitely in the camp of "if he likes you, he will let you know".

If a guy likes a girl, he's going to show it, and vice versa

Friday, October 16, 2009 2:49:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I am definitely in the camp of "if he likes you, he will let you know"."

Nice thought, but let's try this on for size:
If a girl likes a guy, she's going to show it. If she likes you, she will let you know.

We live in a new world with new and updated ideas. The days of women sitting back and being spectators in their own lives should be over. Take charge and make it happen. The worst thing anyone can ever do is say no.

No is a good word and many lessons are learned when it happens. Many more doors are opened when you reach out and turn the knob yourself. Why wait for someone else to come along and open the door for you. It may just never happen.

Truth is that you will never get hurt if you do nothing, you also will never experience life to it's fullest if you do nothing.

Friday, October 16, 2009 3:36:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

FB, that's been my experience too, but as Anonymous says "you will never experience life to its fullest if you do nothing", so yeah, sometimes it's good to get out there too! :)

Friday, October 16, 2009 5:07:00 pm  
Blogger Ms Behaviour said...

Hey thanks for the advice! :)

So here's the outcome of that:
http://elusivbutterfli.blogspot.com/2009/09/ohhhhhh.html

I will post an update later this weekend if anyone is interested. It's a funny story and is about as predictable as the rest of my guy encounters, if that's interesting to anyone other than me!

Saturday, October 17, 2009 6:54:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Oooh, yay! Funny stories! :)

:)

Saturday, October 17, 2009 10:20:00 am  

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