Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Well Then

So who remembers the coffee date I went on that went nowhere? You know, the one that ended oddly? And then got me all riled up? And then he told me that he was actually starting a relationship with someone else?

Yeah, well, guess who emailed me yesterday wondering if I'd be interested in coffee #2?

And there's where my brain kind of explodes.

Where do I begin you guys? I ran through, quite possibly, the entire spectrum of emotions yesterday: triumphant, wary, flattered, giddy, angry, bitter, suspicious, hopeful, curious, happy, doubtful. . . you name it, I felt it, but I mainly settled on cautiously pleased.

I feel like I have to explain it carefully here, both for myself and for all of you who so wonderfully defended me and joined me in my hurt when he rejected me back in April. (And thank you again for that, it felt good to know I wasn't alone and getting a group hug from the internet helped cheer me up.) And as Ms B pointed out at the time, rejection sucks. Which it did and does.

There's a part of me that is glad to meet him again because it feels different this time. Like, because he's already turned me down (and we can argue that it was all timing, but really it was still a rejection) I almost don't care any more. The arrogant (and rarely practiced) part of me is thinking "well, he lost out and ain't going to get me this time either so there" and most of the rest of me is thinking "well, I guess if it doesn't work out this time it's no big deal because I've already seen a side of him I don't love and so he's not on a pedestal anymore" and then the tiny, little girly part of me thinks "Giggle. He still likes me! Giggle." And I just tell that part to hush up for now because we're cautious and not particularly trusting of this one.

Which again, may be a good thing.

See, I do have a tendency to go in to meeting a new guy with high hopes and open mind and heart and thinking that he *must* be the one because why else would the universe have thrown us together and he's probably practically perfect and look at all the wonderful things about him and aren't I just the luckiest girl in the world to be a potential girlfriend for him.

So it's going to be interesting going in to a coffee date with someone knowing that he's not. Not perfect. Not "the one". And that if anyone's lucky it's him to be hanging out with me again.

Oh, hello arrogant side, you're visiting again are you?

But am I maybe confused y'all? Yes.

Do I think we were all right in our initial reading of him as a not great guy for how he handled things? Possibly. I'm certainly keeping it in the back of my mind.

And that'll be interesting; to see how the date plays out. Because if I do feel an attraction, I'll want to tell him that it was lame how things went last time, but the little girl part of me thinks that doing that would make him not like me and man oh man I can't analyze it before hand or else the different parts of me all talk at once and I get stressed out and so it'll be interesting is all.

Because maybe there won't be an attraction. I remember we had good conversation, but was there an attraction? I don't remember, I got so thrown off by how the date ended.

I mean, do I want to fall in love? Yes. Do I think this guy is the one? No. Is this the first time I've gone into a date thinking this way? Yes. Could this be a good thing? Yes.

So I go into this cautious and wary, but also curious to see how it plays out.

I don't know, y'all, what do you think?


Blogger Canadianbloggergirl said...

A shortened version of a story that worked out for me!

I once met this guy, who well I hated at first meeting, a couple months later we started hanging out again, became inseperable best friends, now 10.5 years later, I'm married to his brother for 6.5 of them.

What I'm trying to say is, go on, have the coffee #2....you know that he's not the "one", so see where it takes you, he may have some friend that could be your prince charming!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 8:22:00 am  
Blogger Kas said...

There is a reason for everything...It could be that when he was starting the "other" relationship, he REALLY did prefer you, but wanted to see what would happen with the other girl. Now that he knows YOU are a great person, maybe you could give him a chance to show how great he is...

Or not!

All that can happen-- you'll be no worse off than you are now, not that you are "worse" off.

Good Luck and let us know!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 8:33:00 am  
Blogger Raz said...

It all depends, it might be good to go on a date where you don't feel so pressured, where it doesn't feel so serious? And also, you can totally make him feel bad about it if you want to. Although clearly if you like him that might not work so well.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 9:03:00 am  
Blogger Yamuna said...

I think it's alright for your 'arrogant' side to have a little say in things, after what happened. I know I'd feel the same way. Then again, I guess maybe it's alright to give him a second chance? But go into it cautiously (like you said). Wow, now I'm as confused as you are!

PS. I have to say I'm very curious about how this date will play out as well

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 11:35:00 am  
Blogger the one in the back said...

Are you using the baseball analogy: 3 strikes and you're out?
Or do you just wanna rub this in his face?
Eitherway, this guy seems shameless. Be ready for ANYTHING. Best of luck!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 1:40:00 pm  
Blogger Ella said...

The good thing about going on the date is that you won't have to sit around wondering "What If..." Hope it goes well!


Tuesday, June 29, 2010 2:32:00 pm  
Anonymous narami said...

I just want to know where is the OTHER girl, because man, that was a fast one... and those are suspicious like WHOA.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 6:17:00 pm  
Blogger Mademoiselle Hautemess said...

Best of luck! But as a person who has done this to a guy before...I just want to put the warning out there that he may be lonely after a failed relationship and calling you to hang out for a good time, but with a lot of baggage. Just be careful!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 7:01:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

So Canadian Blogger Girl, should I maybe just cut to the chase and ask him if he's got a brother! Hee ;) But, no, you're right. If he's not the one, maybe he knows the guy who is! :D
PS I totally love your story :)

True enough Kas, reason for everything. . . We shall see! (And it'll be an interesting story at least!) ;)

Raz, I think it'll be really nice to not feel pressured or serious. said... (And where if I want to I can make him feel bad! Giggle)

A cautious second chance, Yamuna, sounds reasonable. :)

PS So's the blogger in me! ;)

ToitB, is there a sport where you only get two strikes? Ohhhh, soccer. Two yellow cards and you're out. I'm using the soccer analogy ;) And, I'm ready for anything. I think. :)

You're so right Ella, not a whole lot of what ifs! ;)

If things go well Narami, I'll ask. A couple of months though, maybe short, maybe reasonable, who knows. . . But yes, the other girl's on my mind too.

Thanks for the tip off Mlle Hautemess (by the way, I just "got" your name and it gave me a chuckle. Heh) I'll be duly careful. :)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010 9:28:00 pm  
Blogger cupcakemasta said...

I'd have to go with your arrogant side. Excuses, excuses...the guy showed you his bad side on the first date. THE FIRST DATE! Imagine what shenanigans he could possibly bring on to your life on the 2nd date. There's plenty of not-so great guys out there, there's no reason to do a repeat on them!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 4:52:00 am  
Blogger Epiphany said...

I have to say that I believe everyone deserves a second chance. I never assume anything about things I have no information on, in general, like his reasons or what happened. I say you don't write him off just yet. Be cautious. Be breezy! My best dating advice - HE'S the one who should be nervous that you won't like him. You're fabulous!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 8:55:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Cupcakemasta, perhaps I'll let my arrogant side ride shotgun on the date then eh? ;)

True enough Epiphany! Cautious....breezy....HE should be nervous. That'll be my mantra! :) Thanks.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 10:01:00 pm  
Anonymous Jonathan said...

I met Wendy online about 3 months before we first went out. In the interim we both had car crash relationships with other people.

When we finally did meet, and got past the first impressions thing, nature took over. Completely.

Keep that in mind :)

Sunday, July 04, 2010 3:43:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Will do :)

Sunday, July 04, 2010 11:04:00 am  

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