Thursday, 5 August 2010

No, I'm Not Overthinking, Just Thinking

I heard from Coffee Date guy again.

He's been busy (I knew this) and while I know life can get hectic, it's not the first time I've heard this from this fellow.

Hi! Sorry, I haven't talked to you, I've been busy, let's catch up when I'm less busy ok?!

I guess I wonder what someone who'd do that is thinking. I mean, is it a genuine, I'm busy and haven't thought of you for weeks until now? Or is it a I'm busy and haven't really thought of you but want to keep you around just in case I don't find anything better? Or is it a I've been busy and thought of you now and then and just wanted to keep in touch?

And I wonder if it's worth my while if and when we next hang out to say "what exactly are you thinking?" Because I do have friendships that are like this; girl friends I haven't talked to in a few weeks and then will hear from them and it's not like I'm mad or jealous of them, I just know that we're friends and we see each other when we can, so why should it be any different with someone I'm not even dating (and maybe never will?)

I don't know. I just think that if he was interested in me as a potential girlfriend, he'd want to do more than contact me every once in a while to say he's busy and we'll hang out soon.

Or is this what you do when you're first starting to get to know someone?

Is this slow going, at a standstill, or what?

My gut is that he's keeping me around just in case nothing better comes along.

But what do I know?

10 Comments:

Blogger Single and Picky said...

I have to agree with your gut. I do think that while life is busy, if you had set of the sparks/whatever you want to label it as he would do whatever he could, despite his life chaos, to let you know that he thinks you are fabulous.

I have to say for me I've learned that it is the lack vocal communication that says a lot of about their interest. No texts, emails whatever, means while they may be "interested" they really aren't that "interested"

Thursday, August 05, 2010 8:49:00 am  
Blogger Roar Savage said...

Talking about boy weirdness last night with my roommate she made a point I've made so many times (but you forget it when it's yourself): "If you're a priority, he'll make you a priority. Period."

Thursday, August 05, 2010 8:55:00 am  
Blogger The Barreness said...

Try a simple response which reads, "Me too. Hanging out not really possible atm, but will be in touch soon!"

Revoval of ball from his court.
Insertion of "WTF?" thoughts into his head.

Pretty much guarantee a follow up text/phone call/second cup of coffee arranged, as a man's worst nightmare is one of his "just in case"-ers flying the coop.

Men really are simple creatures.

And I've known a few...

Thursday, August 05, 2010 9:13:00 am  
Blogger Chantal_Wannabe said...

I thought you weren't sure if you liked him anyway?

You ARE thinking too much... :)

Don't ask him what the deal is and why he hasn't called you, he will run away. Too much to deal with so early in a "relationship"...

Two coffee dates probably don't mean much to the guy, in terms of dating and a probably a longer term relationship or even just getting to know you on more elaborate dates... I can guarantee you he hasn't even thought of that yet.

He knows he'd like to see you again and, well that's a good start isn't it? Slow start is better than too early of an ending.

But if you do meet him again, we want to know how it goes!

Thursday, August 05, 2010 12:15:00 pm  
Blogger princessbella said...

Im agreeing. If you are a priority to him he will be wanting to talk to you just to say hi. We all deserve someone who wants us in their lives, not just catch up with us when they are not busy.

Thursday, August 05, 2010 12:34:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

I think I tend to agree with you SnP.


That's a good point Roar Savage. And it's true, you tend to forget it when it's you!


Well, in all likelihood, The Barreness, I probably will be busy when he next gets in contact with me. Life tends to work that way. :) But, yeah, my brother keeps reminding me that men really are very simple. ;)


I'm not sure Chantal, but I did like him the first time we hung out. But, yeah, I don't think two coffee dates mean much to a guy. And yes, slow start is better than early ending. I'll let you know if/how it goes :)


True enough Princessbella. Very true.

Thursday, August 05, 2010 4:54:00 pm  
Anonymous Erin said...

Go with your gut. It's always right!

Thursday, August 05, 2010 11:30:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Good point :)

Friday, August 06, 2010 4:22:00 pm  
Blogger Pretty Unfamous said...

From my experience, a guy who pops up now and again like this isn't very serious, but doesn't want to come off sounding like a dick. I like The Barreness's idea lol

Saturday, August 07, 2010 5:21:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

True enough! :)

Saturday, August 07, 2010 7:05:00 pm  

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