Wednesday, 1 September 2010

I Want You To Notice When I'm Not Around

Sometimes someone can take a song I love, re-make it and blow me out of the water.

There's a cover of Radiohead's "Creep" that's going around right now that's on repeat in my car right now. (You'll probably recognize it, it's being used for the trailer of a movie that's coming out soon)

They've taken a song I already love, changed it, melded it, added beautiful choral harmonies and it gives me chills every time I hear it. It's not the same rhythms, exactly, and it takes a bit to get used to the unfamiliarity of such a familiar song, but somehow hearing it anew let me hear new things in it I hadn't heard before. Let me hear the lyrics in a way I never heard over the pain in Thom York's voice.

Somewhere last week, while I was listening to it for the umpteenth time, trying to find the separate harmony lines and voices, I heard a section of the lyrics anew and they hit me differently. Meant more. Said more than they had before. (Or maybe I'm newer and changed from the last time I heard this song, or maybe a little bit of both.)

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control.
I want a perfect body.
I want a perfect soul.

I struggle with a few (maybe a lot) of things and this chunk of lyrics lays it all down so neatly, my struggles and frustrations. The things I want but want not to want.

To be a perfect anything is impossible and I fight the need/want/frustration of it constantly.

I find myself having to remind myself that I can't control everything and I don't need to; that I'm safe and well and life is going to be ok.

Control. Perfection.

Hard to live with. Hard to want. Hard to let go.

Somehow, hearing it said. Saying it, singing along to it at the top of my lungs makes it easier. Better. Freer.

A little bit closer to letting go.

Makes it ok.

I love it when artists express my feelings exactly. For me. With me.

Through me.

I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control.

I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.

Saying it makes it lighter. Easier.

The truth shall set you free, yes?


Blogger "Just Sayin....." said...

Great song! Love that specific cluster of lyrics myself. I'm excited to hear the new version.

Nice post!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010 1:31:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

I hope you like the new version!

Thanks :)

Wednesday, September 01, 2010 3:19:00 pm  
Anonymous Jonathan said...

Isn't it amazing how music finds us sometimes - and how it connects to our memories of times, feelings, and emotions.

The truth shall indeed set you free - and that quote lights up Zoe in "Almost Famous" for me, giving her little brother her collection of vinyl albums :)

Saturday, September 04, 2010 9:31:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...


And funny, I just re-watched Almost Famous, I bet that's why it was in my head!

Saturday, September 04, 2010 9:52:00 am  

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