Learning Things

When I signed up for the run clinic with S last year, there was a medium-large part of me that was hoping there would be some cute guys there and that that would magically turn into me finding a boyfriend. Because, I mean, really, it's one of the (many) things people tell you when you're single: Get out there! Join a club! Do something you enjoy! That's where the single guys are, that's where you'll meet someone!

So I got out there, joined a club and? There were three guys.

All older and not-single.

But while disappointing it was fine. It was enough to hang out with S and learn to run. I figured that all the single guys were in a different clinic and not learning to run.

So imagine my surprise when I signed up for the learn to run clinic again and found that a couple of guys had also signed up.

There were, it being January the month of resolve, a whole lot more people in this clinic than the last one, but I hadn't expected there to be so many guys. Or, any.

These guys, it seemed, had shown up with their girlfriends, but at least there were some guys there. Somehow, that gave me hope that maybe one day I would, in fact, meet a guy while out doing something.

I ended up running by myself that first week by choice and a friend I'd made at the last clinic checked in on me from time to time and it was good and I didn't have to go outside of my comfort zone and talk to a stranger like I'd been worried about.

The second week there were a ton more sign ups and a lot of them were guys. Crazy. They were coming out of the woodwork apparently.

As our group gathered to start our run, one of the guys ended up beside me and asked if he had missed anything the week before. I smiled and caught him up and he asked if I wanted to be running buddies.

Well sure, I said, weirdly feeling like I was in my comfort zone and not shy, maybe because he was new and I'd been there before.

We chatted for the whole run and it was enjoyable. It was really nice, actually, to talk to a guy and enjoy it.

I mean, yes, I've been on a few dates lately, but I was nervous on them and I wouldn't say I enjoyed them really. I think I ran the whole time with a smile on my face. He was funny, but in an understated way.

I don't know, I just liked something about him and I found myself grinning the next day at the mere fact that I had a) met a nice guy and b)talked to him and c)enjoyed it.

It made me feel prettier somehow.

And it certainly made me feel hopeful.

I know myself well though, and I made myself slow down before I got carried away and I told myself to just wait til the next clinic. Maybe he wouldn't show up. Maybe he would run with someone else. I mean it's not anything anyway, it's just talking to someone. And I'm there to run. Honestly.

He stood next to me again though when we went to run and asked if I wanted to be running partners again.

We remembered each others names, we asked about each others weeks, but people. . . people? I can't get ahead of myself.

So he's a friendly guy.

So what?

I can't start telling myself it's anything more than a guy who likes to make conversation finding someone to make conversation with because when, near the end I dropped back to let the others sprint ahead (hello, avoiding injury and unable to breathe thank you very much because whose silly idea is it to sprint right now I'm a beginner runner you crazy people!) he chatted away quite happily with the run leader and my spirits sank because of course I've already romanticized the situation to the point where I imagine he's looking out for me and waiting for me to catch up so we can laugh about the sprinting together and man. . . why do I do this to myself?

I don't know if he's single. I can't assume he's interested. I can't make talking to someone in a run clinic mean anything more than having someone to talk to when you're in a run clinic.

So, hey, I met someone running, but it's not anything and it's not like I met someone met someone while running. I just met someone.

I just also kind of like him a little.

So far.

Maybe.