Monday, 21 March 2011

Oh, Sigh

Because I didn't know what to think about the guy I met, C-Dawg (bless her heart) suggested that I invite him out with us this weekend for a drink.

I didn't want to, but wouldn't you know it, after said drink it didn't seem like such a bad idea so I texted him and he came out to meet us.

And you guys? I wish I could find it as funny as C-Dawg does, but right now I'm still in the mystified what the bleep just happened stage.

So C-Dawg and I were sitting there chatting waiting for this guy to join us and for C-Dawg's date to arrive. Then my guy showed up with two friends. Like, a couple. Which, ok, that's fine and fair, I'm out with my friend it's ok for your friends to show up too. It was a little unexpected but that's ok, I can roll with it.

Except when C-Dawg and I started arranging seats so they could all sit with us, my guy said it would be too squishy so they left to sit somewhere else.

Not at the table next to us.

Fully somewhere else.

C-Dawg and I just looked at each other and she started laughing.

I think the phrase "What the hell?" was used more than once and we went on with our night, me shaking my head every two minutes.

About half an hour later, just as I was almost finished turning to her and going "Seriously?" he randomly walked up to our table and sat down.

When I heard C-Dawg say "Oh, here he is" I thought it was *her* date, but no. It was my guy.

Um, so, ok, allow me to try to make conversation with you even though I'm somewhere between pissed and confused.

Fortunately, C-Dawg's date showed up and I was able to chat with him instead of having to talk to my guy, who wasn't trying to talk to either C-Dawg or I.

In fact, when she tried to ask him some questions, she told me later, he avoided answering them all.

C thinks that it's a cultural difference.

"He's very typically English" she said.

I don't know what that means so I asked her, yesterday to describe it.

She and her ex spent a while in England while her ex was getting his degree and she said that they'd go out a lot with his friends and she found them all to be very lackadaisical with their dates and girlfriends.

To use her words they were "very, well, if you want to date me you have to come pay attention to me because I'll just be over here doing my own thing and putting no effort in."

I don't think you can describe a whole country of men in a single bound and I don't think the men she met while visiting England are necessarily typical. (Plus, in my fantasy land, all men with accents are extremely sexy gentlemen who woo women.) (I may be mistaken in this but I like to think I'm not.)

I'm sure the fellow was out of his comfort zone in some way or something because his behaviour felt very odd. Maybe it was a cultural thing because I've never experienced that sort of thing before.

In my books, if you're going to meet someone, be it romantically or friends, you go and you sit with them and talk with them and hang out with them and that's that.

So I don't think I'll be hanging out with that particular guy again although C-Dawg found the whole thing so funny she would like me to invite him out with us again next weekend.

I'm still too baffled for that I think.


Blogger Jason Langlois said...

I think you're right to be baffled, because that is very baffling.

Monday, March 21, 2011 8:53:00 am  
Blogger Single and Picky said...

I'm sorry but cultural or not, that's plain rude. I don't know of any culture that says it's okay to show up somewhere you've been invited, even casually, and then you ignore the person who invited you, nevermind show up with additional people.

The proper, ie. sane thing, to do was for him to:
1. Text you and say hey you mind if I bring some other people along - so you can plan seat accordingly
2. Sit with you
3. If it is "squishy" let his friends sit wherever and then sit with you.
4. If not, then explain, I had plans with them first, they're only in town tonight, whatever his rational is.

In the end I think he's poorly behaved and you deserve better than that, even if he does have a sexy accent. It can only go so far.

Monday, March 21, 2011 9:00:00 am  
Anonymous Suffy said...


Sounds like he's not too interested in the whole thing to be honest :(

I wouldn't say that's typical of english guys though. Maybe just english guys living in america. ^^!

Monday, March 21, 2011 11:57:00 am  
Anonymous Duffy said...

I also can't spell my name, lol.

Monday, March 21, 2011 11:58:00 am  
Blogger NATALIE said...

What you have there is someone with poor social skills . . . and it's nothing to do with you :)
At least C-Dawg got a laugh out of it!

Monday, March 21, 2011 4:16:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yeah, it seemed so to us too Jason!

I hear ya SnP... And yes, the things you suggested would have been very appreciated and/or normal ;) And, yes, the accent doesn't make up for the oddness here :)

No S/Duffy, I didn't think he was too interested, which is fine, but even if he just wanted to make friends it was odd.
PS When I saw the first comment I thought someone was trying to steal your name! :D

Natalie, C-Dawg thinks it's hilarious! I just think it's baffling ;)

Monday, March 21, 2011 7:18:00 pm  
Anonymous Dominic said...

Well, being English myself.. Nope, that makes no sense to me either.

And tell C-Dawg, I'm deeply offended :P


Tuesday, March 22, 2011 1:47:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

I was wondering what you had to say Dominic!

And, yes, I'll be happy to tell her! :D

Tuesday, March 22, 2011 4:31:00 pm  
Blogger Jonathan said...

You know, you could have asked me about the whole "English" thing... and I would have given you a very simple answer, instead of spending ages analysing him :)


Or at least, not in the US way.

If a girl and a guy like each other, they just meet up - go out - either on their own, or with friends. There is NONE of this false structure of "being on a date"...

Wednesday, March 23, 2011 4:32:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Well, I don't know about the US way either ;), but I'm not really a typical "date" dater anyway. Nonetheless, the whole thing was weird. We'd already hung out together and he was going to come hang out with me and a friend and then he just...didn't.

It was so weird! You really had to be there to feel the weirdness ;)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011 5:20:00 pm  

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