In Limbo

I feel like I'm a little bit in limbo.

I don't know about you but before I head away for a vacation my mind sort of starts thinking about packing and organizing and preparing things for the time I'll be gone.

I'm doing that right now both at work and at home in preparation for spending some time out of town for my Dad's surgery.

But it's weird because it's not like I'll be in a foreign country where I might not be able to buy my shampoo if I run out, or more underwear for that matter.

Plus, I'll only be a ferry ride or even a flight away from home, but still, it's still time away from home, it's just not a holiday.

There's also that feeling of not quite being able to plan for after the surgery, because what if it doesn't go well. Do I really want to commit to going to that party next month if my Dad hasn't made it through? Not really. So I'm kind of stuck between not wanting life to stop but also feeling like everything's on hold until it's better.

I had a good talk with my counsellor (read: session with my therapist) where I was surprised by how much it helped to talk through what I'd do if things didn't go well. Almost as if just talking about it made me worry less that it would happen.

Yet another reason I'd always recommend people get professional help when up against a difficult situation or time. It helps.

So as the surgery date sneaks closer and I try to organize things while wrapping my brain around what it all means and what being away for a week or more (or less?) means I feel like I'm in this weird middle ground limbo kind of thing.

I haven't even managed to explain it here, it's just... odd.

Uncertain.