Again, I find myself questioning if my "deal-breakers" are actually keeping me from finding someone and so when a guy I'm messaging and finding really amusing admits that he's in the Navy, I sigh and tell myself I'll just see what might happen.
It's interesting though, as a side note, that I notice quite a few military guys won't put that as their job on their profiles. Instead, they're working "for the government", or in this case as an "Engineer".
Just so happens, it's as an engineer on a boat that leaves the country for six months at a time, but still.
So, long story short, as amusing as this guy is, he's a bit more of a partier than I want to go out with and while I may message him to come out with C-Dawg and I some time, I don't see him as a relationship potential.
Add to that the military thing and, well, it's not going to happen anyway.
I guess I'm just trying to make an attempt to be more open to seeing where a relationship might go instead of just not even starting in it because I can imagine what aspects of it I would not enjoy in the future.
But maybe that's naive and pointless. I'm pretty sure I want my husband to be in town all year long. I'm pretty sure I want my husband to be faithful and to work similar length of days that I do. I'm pretty sure I want a husband who is not exposed to co-workers who smoke and drink and party and cheat in higher percentages than most.
So if 95% of the women I talk to who are married to military guys, or firefighters, or carnies (I just threw that one in there I have no idea where that came from) tell me that this has been their experience, I don't want to go through that.
So maybe being more open with Navy guys isn't the same as being open to dating a guy who has a kid.
I don't know.
9 comments:
All my friends on the Island are military. Send me a private msg with his name, I'm sure get you a yay or nah about him.
I love military men! Though my friends there have to approve or I don't date him cos all military men are dogs when away. Even married ones. Hence the reason they all have to have STD tests done before/after deployments.
And boy can they drink. The pop machines on the ships are filled with beer for .50 cents etc... Even off ship, they can drink up a storm.
Now a ship that leaves for 6 months EACH TIME? I call bullshit. HE may be transfered to a ship that is away for that length of time, but one ship, each time... unlikely. Most are away locally (san fransico > the whole vancouver island etc) for a few weeks at a time, then back for a few weeks, then repeated. Even the Protector doesn't sail that long EACH time.
6-12 weeks before every sail longer than 3 months (whether it be for 3 months or more) a ship and staff have whats called workups. basically its 24/7 training to prepare physically and mentally for the trip.
Find out what ship he is on.
Wow, I just realized how protective of you I became when it comes to possibly being screwed over by a military guy.
Good luck! :)
I am prior military. I was NEVER on a ship! Maybe widen the enough to allow military, but only 'shore duty' type ones.
As far as ALL military men being dogs-- you're right: more than most, but not all. Make that A LOT more than most, but still not all.
And maybe, you'll meet a military guy that will be getting out soon. Would that be OK?
I just found your blog and I am in love with it.
I love seeing another "single girl's" point of view on all this!!!
Victoria don't close too many doors! On my first date with my current bf, I swore to myself there wouldn't be a second because there were so many dealbreakers. 3 years later, I've learned to love his quirks and imperfections. If there is chemistry love can overcome all!!
My brother in law is in the military and he sailed for four months on the Winnipeg chasing pirates and being shot at...can't say I would want that for myself! Esp when he had to leave 2 days after my nephew was born!
I work for CFB Esq as a civie....trust me I hear and see it all...while I would encourage keeping an open mind because not all military guys are scum....a fair few are and yes they can drink....
Mostly what I've found from my own observations about military boys (I myself tried this out too....very much ill fated relationship from the get go)....Military men generally just want a woman at home to miss them while their away at sea. They want someone to stay at home and miss them and then take care of all their loose ends while their away.
Take chances but be cautious is my advice!
Anonymous - well said.
Hi Victoria,
Though I haven't dated any guys in the military, I've met a lot of different uniforms through work. I've found that the higher up in ranks they get, the more levelheaded and serious they are :-)
Oh P'shaw Victoria!
You find duds in every walk of life, so there's bound to be a fair few in the military :)
But please revise your percentage of married women you know who's military husbands ar dawgs, because I'm married to a fit, considerate, non-smoking, only-a-beer-every-now-and-then, loyal and kind military man. So will that make it 94%, or 93?
I only chide gently because I love your blog, and wish you the best. I know you're playing the odds when deciding who to meet off a dating site (yep, it's where I met my guy) and you have to set some 'cut off' points, but I'd hate to see you miss a great match because you don't care for his job.
Wishing you much luck, CB
If I knew his name JS, I'd let you know ;) And, hey, I appreciate the protectiveness!
It's something to keep in mind Kas :)
Thanks Kayla! :D
True enough Anonymous!
Good advice (other) Anonymous! ;)
That's a good point Mary!
Probably takes it down to 91% actually CB_CG ;) But I do hear you and I'm aware of not cutting someone off just because of his job :)
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