Thursday, 8 September 2011

Things I'd Forgotten

Wise Eyes by foundimagination
One of the things I wanted to talk about when I was dating Chad, was how...nervous I was about the physical things.

We'd both established that we didn't want to get too physically intimate too early, but that wasn't even my concern. I was worried about the simple stuff.

Like, how do you kiss someone????

I mean, I *know* how to kiss someone, and I know it's not something I have to, like, practice on my hand or anything, it's not that. It's just that at about our third date, I realized I didn't know how to get to a first kiss.

Usually by that point in a new relationship, I would have done more than that and it probably would have involved a glass of something or other and things just would have happened.

But Chad and I were just hanging out and being very careful with each other and I couldn't figure out how we'd ever get from there to kissing.

I think, had things progressed, it would have just happened; we were sitting touching each other and holding hands on our last date. But it was the weirdest moment, lying there one night after a date and thinking "damn, I don't know how to know when to lean in or forward or any of that stuff."

In retrospect, maybe that was a sign that he was holding back, the fact that we hadn't already had that moment, or maybe that's just what it's like when you're taking things slow. I'm not sure.

But on top of that, there was the whole "what if my breath smells?" fear and the "what if I'm just a stinky person in general and I can't tell anymore?" train of thought that I'd forgotten comes with the whole kissing thing.

Or, the I wish we were kissing thing, as I guess the case was here.

I guess I'll just have to see how it all works out next time.


Anonymous said...

Hey, I love your blog, found it when I googled "single girl blog". I have a similar forum if you ever want to browse out of boredom or, you know, like a need to feel connected. Go girl, be strong!

Victoria said...


Jonathan said...

I think if things are right, you won't even think about stuff until AFTER it happens, then you'll wonder "how did this all happen", and you'll smile.

Victoria said...

That's probably a good point Jonathan...