Saturday, 21 July 2012


It's Raining Again by foundimagination
Remember the anger I mentioned as one of the emotions I'm going through right now?

Well, yeah, I'm kind of having a lot of that right now.

Earlier in the week, maybe Tuesday or so, I sent the guy a message... something along the lines of, thanks for meeting, send me a message if you'd like to hang out again, if not I understand.

After all, he'd said he would message, he clearly wasn't, I thought I'd give him a gentle out, take the higher road sort of thing.

And I really did think he was a polite enough person to send me back a message along the lines of, yeah, thanks for meeting, it just didn't click, take care.

But no. Nothing. It's pissing me off.

So after not hearing from him, I went and "hid" my profile.

And then last night I got an email from the site. "Sorry, but your profile picture doesn't show your face, it's been deleted."

And because I'm riding the bitter, angry train right now two thoughts popped into my head.

1. When I was on this date with this guy, I mentioned to him that some of the guy's I'd met via the online dating site (this was his first time meeting someone this way, for what it's worth) just never contacted me again and how I thought that was pretty rude. His face at the time looked shocked, surprised that someone would do that. But now I feel like me saying that somehow gave him permission. I wonder.

2. I also talked to him about how there's an option on the site to go through and tell the site if the person has a shirtless picture up (he'd asked me how many guys on the site have shirtless pictures up and I said not many.) Now I feel like he went and pressed some button telling the site my picture didn't show my face.

But that's probably a ridiculous thought, right? I mean, I'm sure it's just pure co-incidence that all of a sudden I get this message and they deleted my photo. Right?

Whatever. I'm pretty angry all round right now and if this stupid site doesn't want me to have a picture up any more that's just fine with me. I wave my middle finger in the whole process' general direction.

So I'm mad at that guy for being a wimp and not dumping me properly, and I'm mad at the stupid site for not even looking before deleting the picture I didn't even want to have up there anyway.


Updated to add: Ironically, just received a message after typing this out (last night,) basically - "genuinely enjoyed meeting you, don't want to meet up again. Take care."

Which is fine.... we can't all connect, whatever... not like the message is any great surprise, I saw it coming the very evening we met, but... I do wish he'd taken the time to send this message a few days ago, or even the evening after we'd met.

But, at least he responded...eventually.


Anonymous F said...

Maybe the site triggers a picture review when you "hide" your profile?

Or maybe there's a series of tangentially-related events, and it's only your pain tying them together. I know how that is. It's not easy.

Overall, you're pretty cool. I'm guessing you're more complicated than the dating site (or any summary) makes you out to be, so inevitably people will be disappointed by the reality that is you.

Because we are not our images. We barely even resemble our images. Just wait for somebody to fall for your reality instead of your image.

That won't hurt a bit.

Sunday, July 22, 2012 1:33:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

I'm guessing it was probably just a coincidence.

Sunday, July 22, 2012 9:57:00 pm  
Anonymous michelle said...

Online dating can be awful - I have been on several dates over the past two years and I agree- just be upfront and honest. "I had a nice time meeting you but I am going to keep dating for now" something like that is all they have to say - the radio silence it ridiculous.

BUT there are good guys out there. I am 6 dates into a guy who might the a keeper - there verdict is still out. I found that when I adjusted my expectations - really to expect nothing - things got better.

Remember it's just another way to meet people and blog is great way to laugh about the ones that don't go so well.

Monday, July 23, 2012 5:40:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

I guess it's hard to be that upfront though eh Michelle?

Glad to hear you've had some good success though. And true enough, having no expectations might be the way to go!

Monday, July 23, 2012 9:49:00 pm  
Anonymous Joe said...

As a man (lemme double check...yup) and someone who has done their share of online dating, I can say it sounds like you ran into a world class dolt. Common courtesy says that you at least email, if not text or send word via carrier pigeon (covering all bases) that you aren't interested, sooner the better.

There are decent guys out there who will think you're cool. Sadly, it means wading through stacks of losers until you find the one...which we all will.

Or give up and adopt a bunch of dying of the two.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012 9:01:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Maybe this town has more than its fair share of dolts then! I agree, common courtesy should be... well, obvious :)

Not a fan of dying cats... can I adopt dying puppies instead?

Wait.. that's not much better....

Wednesday, July 25, 2012 9:09:00 pm  

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