Wednesday, 22 August 2012

I'm OK

I had a friend visiting last weekend. Well, I should say, *we* had a friend visiting last weekend, as she's one of those people who was a friend of my friend and then we all became friends together but that doesn't really matter does it? No.

So this friend lives in Australia and after a few drinks and hours of reminiscing (much needed and such a tonic to my spirit let me tell you) she decided that I would be a perfect match with her friend (insert name here) who, just happens to live in Australia.

And I'm sure it was the drink talking, because that's probably the longest long distance relationship you could come up with and so I just smiled and nodded.

But. (Isn't there always a but?)

But, when I'm dragging along the bottom of wherever it is sadness lives, as I am in this precise moment of writing I would welcome the pain and angst that goes along with that distance.

I can't be with you, I miss you, why won't you move here? I can't move there. Will this ever work, I miss you, this is so hard.

They give you a reason, a focus for the sadness and right now I want something to tag on to this moment of pain.

Which is funny, really.

Because I know why I'm sad, and I should be able to tag that on, but it's almost as if I know that if I did? It would be too much and I still have to get through.

I just thought that was odd.

But, that's ok. I'm ok.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

In September 1996 I met an Englishman on-line ... he came to Canada (where I was living) in February 1997 and I moved here (Cambridge England) the next month.
But I no longer had parents ... with the internet family & friends there in my homeland feel very close.

Thursday, August 23, 2012 3:09:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is interesting that our pschye must somehow find an external thing to attach a feeling of general malaize/meloncholy to...weird.

Especially with what you are going through with your dad, you'd think (hope) that your pschye would have enough on its hands and leave the rest of you alone.

I've been there and understand what you are saying. I just wish my pschye would leave good enough alone.

Take care.

- Elliott

Thursday, August 23, 2012 5:17:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

I'm not sure I could/would give up my job here, but I love your story :)

Our psyches should go live in caves and leave us alone Elliott! ;)

Thursday, August 23, 2012 8:41:00 am  

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