Forward

As the next week progressed, I found myself looking forward to his emails more and more.  He *was* interesting, and had great stories about his life so far, and, well, I felt rather dull in comparison, but he seemed to be interested in my spy work and so our conversations became a bit more than just "so...how's the weather over there?"

Now, I know, I know, there's massive rules and whatnot about not endlessly emailing someone you met online.  Everyone says not to do it, talks about how you think you're getting to know someone via the emails or messages but you're just making up a version of them in your head and then when you meet you're let down.  So I know all this, and I'm aware of this, and it makes sense, but (isn't there always a but?) I was still really enjoying talking with this guy.

We kept finding things we had in common, or he'd tell me about something he'd done growing up or in his youth and I'd think, man... that's so cool, I kind of wish I'd known him then.

So I guess, if I'm being honest, I started feeling like I liked this guy.  This person I had never, ever met, like, at all.  Which was strange.

And then the first guy sent me a message.

I ignored it for a few days because I didn't know what to say to him.  He'd told me he would message me when he got back and we'd go for coffee, but now I didn't want to.  But what should I do?

I should meet with him.  That's what the smart thing to do would be.  Meet with the person who was actually in town, and then start getting to know him and if it didn't work out then maybe the other guy would be back in town by then and we could grab a coffee, but I didn't want to.

But I also thought it would be rude to ignore him completely, so I checked my messages, and there was a big long one from him.

He said that he didn't know how to say it but he wanted to be upfront.  That he had just gotten back from a second date with a girl, and that he'd gone on the first date with her just before leaving on his work trip.  He hadn't expected to get along with her so well but now that he was, he didn't feel right also meeting me.  He wanted to put his full attention on this one thing and see where it went and he hoped I understood.  He also said that if he was wrong, and things didn't go how he thinks they will and if I hadn't by then been swept off my feet, he hoped I wouldn't mind if he sent me a message in the future, wouldn't be offended.

And you guys?  I was totally relieved.

First of all, I was relieved that I didn't have to meet him.  Or that I didn't have to come up with a lame excuse not to meet him and then wonder why I hadn't just done it anyway since I was only emailing this other guy for pete's sake. (Who is Pete anyway, and why do we care about his sake?)

I was also very thankful that he had taken the time to message me, as I'm sure it felt awkward for him, and most guys either just stop messaging you or just message "I met someone else before you, sorry."  So I appreciated his candor and sincerity.

And then I smiled.

I wasn't particularly sure what I was getting myself into, but it was growing into something not just "email pen pals" and it was making me happy.