Happy

And I'm so not doing it justice here you guys, but I really like the guy I'm getting to know.

These past few weeks, there's been a smile on my face, and I've felt happier than I remember feeling.

And I'm not the only one who's feeling like we're onto a good thing here.  Which makes it even awesomer.

We can't jump into anything, obviously, and he's not back in town here for a few months yet, so there will be no... anything typical at all.

And yes, we've discussed how, really, truly odd it will be to meet for the first time, to feel like we know each other at least a little, and then to discover that really we're still strangers.

And we're both willing to give it a few tries.  To not judge on our first awkward meeting that that will be how we get along.  And I think that even if there's no spark, we could become good friends.  He's a really interesting fellow, has a good heart, and has a ton of good stories to tell.

It was some point during the last two weeks that I showed up at C-Dawg's place.

"I had a weird thought on the way over here," I said.

"I think I'm falling in like with this guy."

She looked at me, and smiled, in that way that only a best friend can do.

"Oh, I know," she said.  "I can tell."

I was surprised.

But apparently it hasn't gone unnoticed that I'm happier.

I half mentioned it to my Mom.  Something I've done from time to time when I would start talking to someone with potential on the dating site, she didn't say much, but at least she can't claim I didn't tell her.  And if nothing happens, she won't particularly notice anyway I don't think.

And I've mentioned it to my closest friends.

"I'm kind of talking to this guy.  But we haven't met.  Won't for a while."

I keep expecting them to tell me I'm being stupid or that it's a waste of time or something, but all they seem to do is ask me if I feel it has potential, and when I say wholeheartedly that yes, I believe it really really does?  They tell me that's awesome, and to enjoy it.

Which is what I'm trying to remember.

To enjoy this for what it is.  And if it's just a special email friendship that goes no further, then I'll have enjoyed the time we shared getting to know each other.

Will I be disappointed if we meet and it turns out we don't click?  Yes.  I will.  And he's said he will be disappointed too.

And I'm trying to do my best (it's a struggle a lot of the time right now) to just be in the moment.  To enjoy what this is right now, rather than fretting about what it might or might not be in the future.

And that work I'm doing at being mindful, and in the moment?  Is important.  Something I need to practice for all of life anyway.

But you guys?  I've kind of met someone.  Even though we've never actually met. 

And we like what we know of each other so far.

And I'm happy.

And that's all I know.

For now.

Optimistically positive you guys.  For reals.

Now gimme a hug y'all!