Balance

Part of where my current frustration comes from with Jay and I is this feeling of unbalance.

Like he's going through a lot right now, and isn't able to be there as much for me because of it.

And I don't know how I feel about that.

Selfishly, I don't like it of course.  But you can't be selfish in a relationship.

Can you?

So I want to let him have his crisis without pressuring him to be there for me, but then I start to feel like I need him to be there for me and then I don't know if it's my issue or if I'm being too demanding or if he's being too self-involved or if I'm overreacting or what.

I have, like, no idea here.

And that's so so frustrating.

I almost wish I didn't care about other people and could just be the crazy, demanding person I sometimes feel like, screw the consequences.  But it's all about balance, isn't it.

I'm just not sure how to find it with us right now.  Or if it needs to be unbalanced for a while.  And if so, for now long?