I'm aware that for many single people, Valentine's Day can be a very sad, hurtful reminder of your single-ness. So I don't want to rub anything in...
But I do have someone I care about this Valentine's Day. Somewhere I can put that romantic love feeling.
And I don't quite know what to say about it without feeling like I'm letting someone down, or making someone's day sadder.
But it's funny. Even having a ... Valentine I haven't become crazy nutso about the day like I used to be. I mean, even last year, I wasn't terribly bothered by the day, even though it used to be such a hard day to get through. And maybe that's just an age thing or a maturity thing, or having moved on from needing it to be a big deal anymore.
It used to suck being single on Valentine's Day, and It used to suck going through Christmas and my birthday and Valentine's Day without someone there. But this year, I haven't had to. And it's been.... nice.
Sure, not easy, maybe, the last week or two of posts have shown that, but still. It's been better. Better than in the past.
But today? I don't need it to be anything big.
I mean, like I always say, would I be happy to have a surprise sent to my work or my home? Sure. Would flowers be turned away? No. But will I be ok if that doesn't happen? If there's no brass band or singing gorilla sent to my door? Yes.
I feel cared for, cared about, and I know there's someone who's thinking of me, and who likes what they know of and about me, even without having met me, quite yet.
I guess I feel like my heart is protected, even if things don't work out with Jay and I. Right now, today, this week, I feel good about it all.
I feel love.
Which is a good thing to feel today.
But does it make me feel smug? Or superior? Or like I want to announce it to the world on this day of overly-dramatic expressions of romantic love?
Nope.
Just makes me feel safe, and calm.
And like that little bugger Cupid got his arrow wedged deep in my heart right when I wasn't looking.
Nice shot dude, high five.
So Happy Valentine's Day you guys. Be you single, or married, or somewhere in between. I love you, even when you are biting your fingernails nervously over my potential for getting hurt or let down. I just love you because you're here and you're awesome and you rock my world.
Now, go eat some chocolate already, would ya!
Hugs all round*
*(And that. Maybe that's what I'd most like this Valentine's Day. A hug from Jay. But that will just have to wait. Be belated. I'll get a belated V-day hug from him... soon enough.)
5 comments:
I forgot it was VD until I had arrived at work. Can't say it's made much of an impact :)
On the plus side, I *did* remember pancake day on Tuesday.
I think I'm ahead :)
(Pancake day sounds amazing!)
Last year, and the year before were awfully hard. My heart was broken, and I thought that was it and nothing good would ever come (ie, no boy would ever come for me) BUT.... over time things changed, and I feel better than ever. And whether you are with someone or not, there is love- friends/family (I know not quite the same). BUT this year I'm celebrating what I believe will be my last Valentine's Day as a single person. This will be a good year! And, I'm happy for you!
It's SO totally all over the stores here Dominic, it's hard to miss! ;) But Shrove Tuesday aka pancake day? I totally missed that one!
Sounds awesome Stephanie! Biiiiig hugs :)
Isn't that weird. I often have the same feeling about Valentines Day - about playing it down, particularly when near people I know are single, and who have no plans.
Nods. Not weird... just...great minds? :)
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