Saturday 27 April 2013

Realized

I've realized, being with Jay, just how much I love loving.

Like, to have someone to love just feels amazing.

I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't tell you I sometimes have trouble accepting his love.  That I sometimes don't believe that he really does love me, but I know I have these wonderful feelings for him, and that they feel really really good.

I love having him to think about, to take care of.  To bring a glass of water to, or to think of and smile.

I still wish I had guarantees.  That my loving him was enough to make this a forever thing.  That his loving me was enough to make sure nothing was going to fall apart.

But that's, apparently, still just a Disney movie.  And so I have to constantly remind myself to try try try to just be in today.

And we've had a rough few todays, but we've talked things through like adults, and, we're still here.

And I love loving this man.  I really do.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

so happy for you!
you've been through a lot and you deserve this.. :)
silvia

Tara said...

Aww, this post is beautiful! Being in love is one of the greatest feelings!

Victoria said...

Thanks Silvia :)

It's a good one Tara! :D

michelle said...

I am happy for you! Sounds like things are all going in the right direction. Remember there are no guarantees - I was married for 10 year - and still no guarantees so enjoy the todays, the moments of caring and loving, and most of all have fun too!

Victoria said...

True point Michelle. Hugs.