I've realized, being with Jay, just how much I love loving.
Like, to have someone to love just feels amazing.
I wouldn't be being honest if I didn't tell you I sometimes have trouble accepting his love. That I sometimes don't believe that he really does love me, but I know I have these wonderful feelings for him, and that they feel really really good.
I love having him to think about, to take care of. To bring a glass of water to, or to think of and smile.
I still wish I had guarantees. That my loving him was enough to make this a forever thing. That his loving me was enough to make sure nothing was going to fall apart.
But that's, apparently, still just a Disney movie. And so I have to constantly remind myself to try try try to just be in today.
And we've had a rough few todays, but we've talked things through like adults, and, we're still here.
And I love loving this man. I really do.
5 comments:
so happy for you!
you've been through a lot and you deserve this.. :)
silvia
Aww, this post is beautiful! Being in love is one of the greatest feelings!
Thanks Silvia :)
It's a good one Tara! :D
I am happy for you! Sounds like things are all going in the right direction. Remember there are no guarantees - I was married for 10 year - and still no guarantees so enjoy the todays, the moments of caring and loving, and most of all have fun too!
True point Michelle. Hugs.
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