Wednesday, 3 April 2013

The Road

You Heard The Man by foundimagination
I was on the road, and really, really not sure what I was doing.

Or if it was smart.

I kept saying to myself that I was glad it was pouring rain, because that meant I really had to pay attention to the road, so it made it harder to listen to the thoughts racing around in my brain.  But, man, I was tense.

And nervous and wondering what I was doing.

I got to the ferries just in time and sat in the ferry lineup and actually started crying.

I was crying because I was so .... freaked out, but also because I was so proud of myself.

I was proud of myself for not giving in to the bullying my brain always seems to do, and just taking a breath and jumping.

I knew that if I made it, and it all worked out ok, I would be more likely to do something like this again in the future.

And I don't even mean so much the meeting a... pretty much stranger, in a strange place, I mean just the logistics.  Driving to a place I didn't know, meeting someone new, pushing myself way outside of my safe comfort zone.

I remember C-Dawg telling me as much the week before.  Jay had suggested that maybe we could find somewhere to go camping the weekend he was back and I was freaking out to C-Dawg about how he didn't know I don't just... pick up and do things, that I need to plan and figure out and attempt to chill, and C-Dawg told me that she thought I should just pick up and go camp with him.

"This hasn't been a normal courtship in any way, Victoria.  I think you need to just go, be out of your comfort zone here."

Maybe it was partly those words that pushed me, but I messaged Jay from the ferry.

"On the 7."

"You're nearly here!" he messaged back.

I smiled.

The drive there was short, thankfully, and GPSes are wonderful things.  Still, I was nervous as I pulled into the driveway.

Was this the right house?  What would it be like to see him?  What if it wasn't the right house?  Where should I park?  Should I pretend I changed my mind and just go back home?

"I think I'm here."  I messaged him, sitting in my car, my front door open, not really ready or able to step out, just staring at the screen of my phone, wondering what on earth I was doing there.

And then, suddenly, I heard his voice.

"You're here!"

And, there he was.

I didn't want to get out of my car.

I just looked up at him, his smiling face, that I'd come to know so well via video, right there in front of me, smiling back at my cheesy grin.

But I still didn't... (couldn't?) move.

"You can... park over there." he said, motioning.

"Where?  Ok.." I said, dazed, shaking all over.

"But wait... can you get out for just a minute first?"

I nodded, put my phone down, took a step out of the car and threw my arms around him.

And we just stood there, hugging.  Finally in the same space.  Finally meeting.

I just wanted to hold him, and feel his arms around me.

Somehow, I was there.  And he was there.

We'd made it.


Matt79 said...

Sounds great! I think it was a good idea of his to ask you to step out for a minute like that to defuse the tension - I'm sure you felt a lot better moving your car after that than you would have otherwise!

Happydog said...

I got all teary reading happy for you on every level!

Duff said...

yay :)

Anonymous said...

so happy for u!!
i hope everything goes well :))


Anonymous said...

Oh, this is wonderful. So happy you had such a nice first "meeting". Hope the next installment is just as lovely.


Bea said...

Horraaaaay! This is turning out to be such a cool romance, I love it.

michelle said...

Wow - amazing - from a single gal still looking for Mr. Right your story is amazing, fun, and inspiring! (It's Michelle I just started a new blog but have commented before).

Victoria said...

Totally great idea Matt, and yeah, I felt a lot better (although my legs were still wobbly!) ;)

Aww, thanks HD! :D

Totally yay, Duff! :)

Thanks Silvia!

I'm pretty happy about it too Michelle :)

Yay! Thanks Bea! :D

Victoria said...

Oh,and hi again Michelle! Seems you were commenting when I was commenting so I didn't see your comment! ;) Yay for your new blog :)