Thursday, 18 July 2013

For The Record

You guys?  I'm happy.

I mean, yes, I miss Jay, and I wish things hadn't changed, and I get sad about it here and there but really?  I'm happy.

And it feels really nice.

Part of it is having reconnected with Jay, in all honesty.  It means that things that remind me of him make me smile, rather than leave me feeling sad or bitter.  Or at least they make me happy before they make me sad.

I think the weather helps too, and feeling relaxed and stress free in general right now.

But, yeah.  I keep finding myself, these past few weeks having moments throughout the day where I think, hey, I'm happy.

And that just makes me even happier.


Elliott said...

I've been reading your latest posts and have been tempted to comment but haven't. Basically wanted to say that you don't owe anyone other than yourself any explanation. If you decide to let him back into your life at whatever level makes you comfortable, then go for it. If you don't want, your choice.

As a reader being a guy, all I can say is be careful and make your decisions with your eyes open. Which I believe you have been. It sounds like you need him and he needs you and as long as you both understand that, good for you. My only advice is to not be so focused on something you know is questionable (and my your own admission, not working for you) that the perfect mate for you walks in and out of your life.

Aside from that, I'm truly happy for you that you are writing you are happy. That's huge. And I'm glad you are happy.

Victoria said...

Thanks Elliott.

I don't think he needs me, actually, and yes, I don't want to be too focussed on it, because I'd hate to miss out on something else while being stuck on this/him.

But, yeah, thanks. Happy = good!

Matt79 said...

I'm happy to read this - and yes, I can see how reconnecting and not leaving things on such a sour note can make a big difference about how you feel about the whole thing.

Victoria said...

It did for sure Matt :)