Wednesday 17 July 2013

Reticence

A Seat by foundimagination
I feel rather hesitant right now to be completely forthcoming about how I'm feeling about Jay.

I always do my best to be honest here, but I temper that with knowing that if I put something out there that others disagree with, I may be judged and that if it's something close and personal, it will hurt to be judged.  Although, as I said, it helps to soften things knowing that people just want to help, and to protect me.

I'm an overly sensitive creature, I know that, but still, it throws me off to have my heart batted around, and so I tread carefully for a while, keeping things closer to my chest than I might used to have.

And I have thoughts all the time.  Clearly I do.  I'm a thinking, feeling, and I suddenly wish I could remember my Myers-Briggs results because I'd throw them at you right now and say see?  I tested that way!

Sigh.

I don't know.  Just feeling closed off this week.  Wanting to protect myself, I think.

Even if it's unnecessary.

11 comments:

Happydog said...

Sometime we need to keep our feelings private so we can actually feel them without the commentary...

JustAGirl said...

But you ought to know that whatever we say about Jay is based on what you have said about him, you know what I mean? I, for one, don't think he is evil or anything, but just that he did something awful (even though I don't know the details), and that you mentioned (to him) that it looks like he is using you. So, in all fairness, how else were we supposed to react, right?

Kate said...

Sometimes it's just better to keep things close to you and to deal with them privately without clouding the process with noise from other people.

Victoria said...

True enough HD.

Totally fair point JustA.

Sometimes it is Kate, but sometimes it really helps me to write it out. Guess I don't necessarily have to hit "publish" though.

mkd said...

Why do you have comments open if you just delete the ones offering support, insight and caring? I am not being sarcastic, I will stop commenting since you do not want me to. Best of luck with everything.

Victoria said...

Woah, hey, hang on. I didn't delete any comments!

Sometimes they get stuck in spam, let me check.

Victoria said...

The last comment I have from you Sanibel Gal, was on a different post and I very much appreciated it.

I never delete comments, unless they are pure spam.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy following your blog and can so relate to many of your experiences and thoughts. It helps to know that there are others out there who are going through similar phases in life!
And in my opinion, anyone who goes puts forth the effort to write an entire blog post (ahem, Sanibel Gal) about her "observations" of YOUR life (as much as you choose to share with us) is obviously quite envious. Or something.

Let's build each other up!

Victoria said...

Bah, I just hate upsetting people. Especially when I didn't.

But, thanks. And yes, let's build each other up for sure :)

mkd said...

Victoria - I love your blog - I apologize if I miss read the situation. I should have asked not assumed :-( my (very) bad call. Apologies.....and I am VERY glad to hear that you are happy - that is what is most important.

Victoria said...

's ok :)

(And, PS, I think you've pointed out a comment issue that I wouldn't have noticed, so I've informed Blogger!)