Thursday, 15 August 2013

Thoughts And Thinkings

Went for another walk-date with the guy.  It was fine.

I think we're both starting to relax a little, or certainly I was.

Although, I did notice I had my arms crossed for the first ten minutes of the walk.  Guess I wasn't all that comfortable, really.

Which, no, I wasn't.  But I also wasn't terribly bothered.  Right now I could take or leave it, but I'm not willing to write him off completely.  Another friend would be fine, if that's all it ends up being.

I think about my buddies, my single guy friends that I hang out with from time to time.  I have no attraction to one, and while the other is super cute, he's also not into girls, so with both of them I don't worry about "are we going to date?" we just hang out.

I still get a sort of nervous energy from this guy, and when I mentioned it to my friend he said that maybe that's why this guy hasn't had a whole lot of luck with the online dating thing.  Like, if other people have gotten that sort of a read from him too, they may just write him off right away.

Which got me thinking about the other first or so dates I've been on where we never met again.  There was one fellow who just overwhelmed me with his PERSONALITY and I felt bad that I just wasn't up for seeing him again.  Plus, he brought chocolate.

I still wonder about the guy who liked race cars, because we went on a couple of walk and talk dates and then I just never heard from him again.  Maybe I've been giving off a really nervous, uncomfortable energy too.  I think I probably really did.  And maybe still do, I don't know.

I can't say enough how un-natural I find this way of meeting people and how much I wish I could go back to the early days of University where it seemed there was always a party to go to and almost everyone was single.  Couples were the exception.  And now, when/if there is a party, it's the singles that are the exception.  And the couples all need to get home to pay the babysitter.

But I'm just more relaxed in those group situations.  And I think that's how it would be best for someone to meet me and get to know me.  When I'm relaxed and in my element.  My zone.

A few people have said "oh, maybe you'll meet someone at Burning Man!"  and yes, maybe I will.  But have we not learned the lesson that long distance relationships are not my favourite?  And is it likely that I would meet someone down there from Victoria, or is it more likely that I'd meet someone from somewhere further afield.  Montana.  Sweden.  New Hampshire.

I don't know.  I'm not giving up.  On this guy, or on meeting someone.  I'm just... nonplussed.


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