Thursday, 15 January 2015

Just Trying To Not Think

I talked to a new guy this weekend.

Saw his profile on the dating site when I was scrolling through a while ago, and he said he wasn't much of a typer and gave me his phone number.

I told him I'm really shy of calling people I don't know but this weekend I figured I should try to push myself through that fear and so I dialed and called.

He has an unusual job that has him travelling pretty much all the time all over the country, so my mind already wants me to know it's not a person I could have a relationship with plus I... well, one million other things, really, but we had a nice talk for a couple of hours and he said he'd give me a call so...


Shrug.  I'm just going to try to breathe and let whatever's meant to be be... or not be.. or... whatever, I don't know.

I still have my profile hidden on the site and am not really sure I want to date or "move on" from Jason or anything really.  Sometimes I even think I'd be happy if Jay came into town so I could have a long cuddle nap, but I think that's my brain remembering things that aren't real or true anymore.

But, yeah, I spoke on the phone to a guy I don't know.  Shrug.  Good for me being brave?


Jason Langlois said...

Good for you being brave. Not every person you talk to has to be a relationship.

I'm in the first week of moving someone out of my life, and it's tough. Someone everyone has told me I should have cut from my life years ago, but I never did. Until last week, she did something that just made me feel like I couldn't keep up the delusion.

A very hard thing to do, though. The habits that grew up around her are itching at the back of my mind, and I find myself thinking of the good times and good things and miss them. But then I remember the bad stuff which, when I'm being honest with myself, really outnumbers and outweighs the good stuff.

I bring it up, because the thing with Jay and how you've dealt with it, is something I know will be a touchstone for me. Partly because I'm going to look at my advice and thoughts about how you deal with it, and say to myself "hey, follow your own advice". But also because I really do understand the appeal of the idea of him.

Anyway, good to get out there a bit and test the waters.

Elliott said...

Good for you for being brave and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

Like you say, what will happen, will happen.

Victoria said...

Aw, I'm sorry Jason... big hugs, that's got to be hard. Take care of yourself through it all.

Thanks E.