Friday, 8 April 2016

Frustration

I've been going through (and am hoping to be on the tail end of) a frustrating time with my art and photography.

I wonder if I should say "another" frustrating time as there's a part of me that remembers feeling like this before and thinks that maybe this happens before there's a push forward or period of growth or improvement.

But I've been feeling like I haven't put out anything good in a while.  Not artistically, or photographically, or even writing or poetry wise.  With the writing I just don't feel inspired, with the art I just feel like it's all ugly (maybe rushed?) and photographically, it's just not interesting or technically good enough.

With the writing, I'm just letting the poetry go until it wants to come back (inspiration) and I'm making myself keep writing here to ... keep writing.  With the art I'm also trying to let it go and not force anything (other than doing some art every day... because... I want to I guess?  And now that I've started it's a "thing"... but I think it's a good one?) And am trying not to be too hard on myself, but I'm also not sharing every thing I do.  Perhaps that's pride.  Or just realism.  I know what I like, and I know what I've made lately hasn't been ... strong.  And with the photography... well, I talked with Jason about maybe getting a new camera but he asked me some pointed questions about the camera I'm using, double checked it out himself and said, well, quite honestly, learn to use the tool you have before you go buying a new one.

So I'm re-re-re-learning the hows and whys and I think it's starting to make more sense again now (back on manual mode) and just means more thinking.

Which has been a theme with my art too... the need to slow down... not just rushtogetsomethingdonebecauseart.

Were I critiquing my art right now I would say it is immature.  Lacking maturity.  Which can also translate to rushed.  Not thought out.  Easily done when you're claiming "abstract".

With the writing and the art, and the photography to a certain extent, sometimes it's just not there ("there" being somewhere in my head) and I'm trying to teach myself not to get frustrated or critical and then to also see when there's good.

It's so weird though, being both a judge and a cheerleader of your own self.

Balance.... always always with the balance.  And the not black and white.

Same lessons, different story.  Or something, eh?

2 Comments:

Blogger Happydog said...

I feel something similar in where I am with doing art and photography. In my past experience this often happens around spring. New beginnings and all I suppose. I just bought a new iPad Pro and it's inspire me to stretch a bit. And get the camera out again too.

Friday, April 08, 2016 10:34:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Well here's to new beginnings then :)

Friday, April 08, 2016 11:57:00 pm  

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