Thursday, 5 May 2016

Existential

I'm going through a lot of existential angst growth and thinking right now.

(My Mom would like me to know that it's a mid life crisis and it could be worse... gee, thanks Mom, I like to think I'm a few years (or decades!) away from my mid life but ok...)

But a couple of big ones recently have shaken me up.  In a good way, really, but still... shaken.

One was when the therapist/counsellor I'm seeing gave me a suggestion that was utterly ridiculous.  To me anyway.  Sure, he may have been trying some technique or other but I left there and was struck by this realization that really, when it comes right down to it, I'm the expert in my life.  I know what's best for me.  Not what other people think, or what an expert might suggest; they don't live with me, in my head and my world 24/7. 

Sure, that can be an empowering thought, but right now it's more just along the lines of overwhelming and somewhat disturbing, because really... that means *I* have to figure it all out.

Crap.

The other one was just as powerful, but since I've started typing this I've completely forgotten it so uh, yeah.  Yay brain!

More if and when it comes back to me.

6 Comments:

Blogger Jason Langlois said...

Oh man, that moment when you realize you're responsible for yourself, and as much as everyone around you can contribute, it still all ends up on you to make the call... that's a tough moment.

I often think that's what people mean when they wish they could be a kid again, or have a dog's life. Because when you're a kid or a pet, the call is someone else's to make.

*hugs*

Thursday, May 05, 2016 11:44:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Sure is. A tough moment that is.

I don't know if I'd want to be a pet though... I don't think they know enough to know they don't know, you know? (What?)

:)

Thursday, May 05, 2016 10:36:00 pm  
Blogger Anne Roy said...

The life expectancy of a Canadian woman is 81 years ... so when does middle age start? at 40? by then life is half over ... young from birth to say 27? ... middle aged from 27 - 54? old from 54 to the 81 end?

Cdn Anne in England listening to the clock tick ...

Thursday, May 05, 2016 10:41:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

:/

Thursday, May 05, 2016 10:45:00 pm  
Blogger Jason Langlois said...

For what it's worth, my "mid-life" crisis came at 32. I think it's any time you stop, look at your life, and decide to make the big changes.

Friday, May 06, 2016 11:41:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Fair enough :)

Saturday, May 07, 2016 10:12:00 pm  

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